Friday, March 14, 2008

Friday Fess Up

I started this blog for reasons unknown . . . I mean, I had no idea what I was going to do with it, what I would write about. I suppose that once I got it up and started that I was excited about connecting with other people and sharing my story, a bit of me and my life, with others.

Well, I've definitely met a variety of people. There are moms, teachers, executives, farmers, adventurers, writers, crafters, artists, musicians among those I have met here in the blog world. I mean, I did what I was supposed to do . . . I got a cute template, I joined some social networks, I registered with blog directories, I even got a blog reader. So, I've gone through all the motions. What I haven't done is share much about me, about who I am, which has made it difficult to truly connect. Outside of a few vague references to personal situations, I haven't said much. I mean, most of you know how I feel about American Idol, know that I was a teacher and a new mom, and that I travel to Michigan quite often. But that is probably about it.

I can't lie. I feel my posts at times are fluffy. They are safe, for the most part. I enjoy writing them, but there is no doubt writing about American Idol, favorite blogs, and the stuff I heard on the news isn't exactly digging deep. The thing is, I've been writing as if my mom, dad, grandma (even though she's long since gone), kindergarten teacher, and pastor are reading my every word. If anything, my comments on your posts probably reveal a lot more about me than what you'd read here.

Will I continue to write about these things? Sure I will. I have fun with it. But, I think I need to revisit why I am here and why I am doing this--especially if I am putting myself out there. It is about making connections, right? Exploring your thoughts, ideas and sharing them. Maybe taking little bits and pieces of your life and handing it over to others. Maybe to take time to write with a purpose. I'm an English teacher who loves words. How can I not? I may not love reading stacks of 10th grade essays, but I love those words nonetheless.

In the spirit of reconnecting with the reason I am here, how about I begin with the reason I started this blog in the first place . . . Baby J and how he came to be. It was a time I had to come face to face with who I was and who I might become . . .

*****************************************

I remember sitting at the kitchen table, thumbing through an old issue of Better Homes and Gardens and making a mental wish list. I had the phone propped on my shoulder as I listened to my best friend KM of over 20 years tell me about an Oprah show she had watched about fertility. I remember thinking, "Oh, great. More from the all knowing OPRAH." KM went on and on and I listened, sort of. That is, until she informed me that I had better seriously think about having a baby now because my eggs were getting older by the second. My ovaries probably already had cobwebs forming in the deeper recesses. What? I closed my magazine. Now, I was aware of what impacts a woman's fertility, but this was the first time this conversation was directed at me. Me. KM decided after watching Oprah (boy does that woman have powers or what?) that she was going to get pregnant. Today. Right now. Well, you laugh, but I'll be darned if only weeks later I got the call. Baby on board.

Flash forward a year and both of my best friends, KM and TS, now had children. Cute, chubby little baby boys with smiles to die for. They would plop them in my lap and rave about how good I looked with them--as if they were a Prada bag or a fancy beaded necklace. I fell in love with them both (the kids, not the bag or necklace--but then again . . . ). They were adorable little critters, that was for sure. KM and TS said I was destined to be a mom because I had played such a huge part in raising Sugar Baby, Angel Baby, and Little Brother (my three younger siblings). That may have been true, but what they didn't' realize was that the dream of having a child was something that I had known for quite some time that it might not be possible.

I had years to let the news that having children might not be in the cards for me settle in. I was 19 when I found out. I still remember the day when I was brought into the ER. I had started hemorrhaging on the cool white floors of the new communications building at my university. No one was around as I sat beneath a pay phone, calling my mom (who was hundreds of miles away). A friend has just gotten out of class, saw me, tossed me (rather gently, I might add) into the car, and drove me to the hospital.

I was OK. My ovaries, not so much. A rather large cyst has burst. And, it appeared that this cyst had brothers and sisters and they had taken up residence on my ovaries. Poor little guys, er, gals.

After my night in the ER, I went to a specialist. Tests were run. More tests. A few more tests. Finally, the diagnosis came down. I had PCOS or Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. How many of you knew that was coming? Unfortunately, back when the diagnosis was made for me not much was known. They just knew that women with PCOS often had severe fertility problems and often could not conceive or carry a pregnancy to term. That's what they told me. Me. As I sat on a tissue-paper laden cushion, half-dressed, only 19-years-old. What to make of this news?

To be honest. I was OK with it. I mean, I was 19. I had no plans to have a baby. At least not now. I had mid-terms. There was no way a crib would fit in my dorm room. I had a car that would never accommodate a car seat. Not only that, starting at the age of 7 I had begun my foray into motherhood. My siblings played a big (and still do) part of my life. At 19 and away at college I had finally found some independence from my duties back home. So, no baby. No problem. For now.

Flash forward. My husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We had made four moves. We had changed jobs. I went to school again. Our friends and family continued to have children. Although I put on the bravest of faces, deep inside I knew that time might be running out. I deflected questions about babies and motherhood with a litany of excuses--no childcare, no money, no room, moving/changing jobs. But deep inside I knew the truth. It would be easy to not miss something you never thought you would have in the first place.

The decision to finally start trying was rather easy. One day we just decided it was now or never. We made a decision that if it didn't happen we would be OK with it. We might consider adoption, but beyond that we made a decision NOT to pursue extensive fertility treatments.

*****This next section was taken from my pregnancy journal.*****

I really want to talk about how I found out about my pregnancy. T and I were trying for about four months. I really never thought it would happen. I still remember being told at 19 that getting pregnant would be extremely difficult if I were to ever conceive at all. I packed the thought in the back of my head—always knowing it would be a tough battle. And now, no longer having youth on my side, I was going to try to do something that was considered near impossible to begin with.

In August of 06 we officially started trying. It was definitely fun for T, but often cumbersome for me. With each NOT PREGNANT symbol on that rather vindictive test, I knew my chances would continue to diminish. With school starting, I was a little stressed, but things seemed to go OK. Then we got hit with a series of bad events. First, T’s friend Ben died in a rafting accident. While he was in a coma, we heard that T’s dad (and best friend) found something suspicious on a recent x-ray. T knew it was bad right away. I didn’t think much of it—I mean, it was T’s dad. He would outlive us all. Unfortunately, that was NOT to be the case. He had stage IV lung cancer.

SAD NEWS

T made several trips back and forth to Michigan. I went on several with him (so glad I did). We were able to spend some quality time with his dad, but I think we all knew the time would be limited. He passed away on T’s birthday, only three months after the diagnosis. Happy Birthday, T. You’ve just lost your best friend. Surprisingly, we continued to try for a child. I think there was ferocity in our attempts. Before T’s dad passed away, we held onto hope and thought (though maybe we didn’t consciously plan) that maybe we could deliver him some good news. Maybe it would be enough for him to pull though the chemo. Maybe the news of this grandchild would miraculously cure him. It didn’t happen.

Instead, it seems that our little peanut might have been conceived around the time T’s dad left us or maybe the last time we saw him alive and well over Thanksgiving. Maybe he left us a little gift. If so, thank you, Dad. I’ll miss you. A lot. Note to Baby J . . . I’ll write more about Grandpa L later—you need to know him. I’ll tell you stories that'll make you laugh, I promise.

I’M JUST A RUN ON SENTENCE

I realized that I completely missed my period in December and there were no signs of it appearing in January. I figured STRESS. I was devastated by my own loss of T’s dad but even more heartbroken over T’s loss. He should have his dad—I thought nearly every day. Still, not a day goes by that I don’t choke up and miss him.

With my medical history, the PA at my OB/GYN's office said to come back in January if we hadn't conceived. I scheduled an appointment with the PA on January 4th. We chatted about my difficulty conceiving and the two really irritating NEGATIVE pregnancy tests I had taken in December. I told her I thought it was really rude how they turned to negative so quickly. Why couldn’t they wait the 2 minutes and then let me down? Anyway, she gave me temperature charts, pamphlets on fertility, fertility drug information, a prescription for glucophage to help regulate my periods. I was overwhelmed. All I could think about was all the grading and lesson plans I had to do. At that moment I decided I would wait. I just didn’t feel I would have it in me to do the school stuff and keep track of my fertility. There was no way I could do it all and remain sane stay married.

The first sense of grief enveloped me. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. As we finished up our chatting she asked me again if I was certain I wasn’t pregnant. I told her emphatically that I wasn’t. She said it wouldn’t hurt to do a quick urinalysis in the lab. I said OK—resigned to seeing yet another NEGATIVE. I went to the lab, peed in my cup and sat and began to read all the fertility literature—actually, my eyes had glazed over at this point.

The lab tech came out and said, “Well, you are positive.”

Positive? “Positive I’m not pregnant, right?” I asked.

“No, positive you ARE pregnant," he replied tentatively, clearly thinking that this news might now be good news.

What? I was shocked. I asked him again and at that point I realized why I hadn’t had my period. Duh.

After leaving the office right after hearing the results (I was supposed to stay and maybe schedule my first app.), I tried desperately to call T. No answer. My senses came back and after driving out of the parking lot, I turned around and went back to the office. I told Amy my PA and she as thrilled for me. I scheduled my first OB appointment—OB. I was now an OB patient. Meaning, I was going to have a baby.

Me.

I was going to be a MOM.

As many times as I said it, I still didn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it. Being that I am growing a belly and have had four ultrasounds by now—I still don’t believe it. Little peanut might be kicking soon. Maybe that’ll make it more real.

I told T in Sears. How nice. We are engaged in front of a Baskin Robbins and I tell him he’s going to be a daddy in Sears. How romantic. We both handled it with reserved, cautiously optimistic joy. We’ve pretty much kept the same attitude since.

*************************

This is where the journal entry ends. J is now 7 months old. Although there are times I wish I would've had the guts to try for him years ago, I know that he is meant to be here now. I wish his grandpa could see him. Then again, not a day goes by that I don't believe that as he entered heaven (he would laugh at me saying he entered heaven) he saw little J and sent him down to us.

Thank you for reading . . .

68 comments:

Maria said...

Thanks for sharing that with us! That picture is just precious:)

Marmarbug said...

Thank you for sharing. that is an awesome story. Those little peanuts are conceived when we are least expecting it!!!!

just jamie said...

OMG. I have chills endlessly running up and down my neck. That was beautiful, honest, revealing and emotional. Thank you. Baby J is lucky to have you as a Mommy. And I can only imagine T's Dad smiling proudly on the family.

madamspud169 said...

I can remember the consultant telling me that I would never be able to get pregnant naturally and health reasons meant I wasn't eligible for fertility treatment.
I can remember the decade I spent pretending I didn't want a child of my own.
I can remember the Emergency Room doctor telling me I was pregnant & instead of feeling happy my first thought was "Is it eptopic".
I now have a 4 yr old and am being hit from all sides with "are you having any more?", "a single child needs siblings to be happy", "mom I want a baby bruvver please".
The guilt has never left it just changed from feeling bad I'm not a mom to feeling bad I only have one.
Why can't others think before they speak? Sometimes one is enough. A miracle is by its very nature a rare, one-off occurance. My child is a miracle.

Amy said...

Thank you for sharing your amazing story with us, it was just awesome! And I have to share with you...
My first two are from my first marriage. When my second husband and I were trying to have a baby, it took a long time. Finally I had decided it wasn't meant to be and that's when my dad got sick. After his fight with cancer ended and he passed on, the very next month I was pregnant! I have always thought my dad had a big hand in that. So I totally believe your's husband's father did too!

Anonymous said...

What a lovely, heartbreaking and heartwarming story.

I, too, make the choices of blogging about what is intensely personal and essentially superficial and try to find a balance (assuming that at any point, my dentist is reading my blog as well). I hope you continue to write as you choose.

María said...

Only share what you are comfortable sharing - don't feel pressured by us voyeuristic idiots. *lol*

Wonderful, amazing story. Beautiful picture too. :)

Lori said...

what a loving story... now you have it written down for J to read later. thanks for sharing your miracle

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

I am OH SO INSANELY familiar with the pains of infertility and the pains of cancer. I live in fear of losing my sweet husband every day. I live with my own infertility still - not bearing a child robs you of some basic rights of womanhood. I am a mom (2 adopted sons) but sometimes it still chills me.

Thanks for this heartfelt post. These are my favs. I like that I am seeing them all over the blogosphere these days. I feel like "your friend" more now. Thanks again.

KEEP BELIEVING

Burgh Baby said...

Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. You just know that T's Dad is looking after you all right now.

Unknown said...

that was a beautiful glimpse into getting to know you. simply beautiful!

Laski said...

Thanks for the comments! This is been such a crazy day, week. T's mom came to visit us (before that trip to Florida) and is now in the hospital. What more can happen to this woman? And T, I just have no words. We're praying all will be OK.

Oh, mamaspud169--I am right there with you. The questions and comments started when J was only a month old.

Amy--wow, our stories are nearly identical! Amazing. I'm so sorry about your father, but so happy for you!

Jennifer said...

I'm all choked up. :) thank you for sharing such a personal and wonderful part of your life with all of us. :) What a beautiful story. I loved every part of it. :)
I had some fertility issues as well, and this really touched my heart. I understand EXACTLY what you went through with the two negative tests! Horrible feeling. And really, would it hurt to wait a few mins before flashing that NEGATIVE sign at you?? I can't tell you how much money I spent on tests that were all NEGATIVE! :( But thankfully we have both been blessed graciously to become mommies. :)
I'm sure that T's Dad is always, lovingly watching over you all and extremely proud of his new grandson. :) My son was born the day they burried my Dad's father. It was a bitter sweet day for my Dad, he got to see his second grandson be born and then had to go face the over whelming sorrow of his fathers death. Still makes me want to sit here and cry my eyes out for my Dad.
I look forward to reading more of your posts, although I have enjoyed all of them prior to this, and will enjoy them just the same, the personal ones are nice to get to know you better. :)
I know I have done some soul searching on my blog too lately. I remembered why I started to blog too, it was to have something to look back on when my kids are older... so that is where I'm going now with mine... family, everyday life, children, funny stories, things I never want to forget, or have fade away. :)
Thank you again for sharing your story with us.
HUGS!!! Jenn

Momisodes said...

You are so courageous for revealing so much of yourself. I commend you. Thanks so much for sharing :)

Jennifer said...

Oh my,I'm so sorry this isn't meant as an after thought, I cannot believe I didn't mention it in the first comment I left... so sorry. That picture of your son is just precious!! :) He is definitely Heaven Sent! :)

Melissa said...

I have to admit hearing stories like this really make me feel bad and remind me how lucky my husband and I are. Our daughter was an accident and I was freaked out when I found out I was prengant. I didnt know what we were going to do about money, I was in school still, we hadn't planned anything. I thought our lives were over cause I thought it would be too much. And now I love motherhood and how silly I was to get hung up on such material things and I feel bad for anytime I hear someone who has had a hard time getting pregnant because I wasn't more thankful for being able to. Great post. So happy to see that you have a family and your beautiful son. This post really reminds us how lucky we are to be able to even try having families of our own. Really beautiful post

tommie said...

Thanks so much for sharing this story of your life.

I do think children are sent/given to us at the time that we are ready! But then again I had kids late in life.

Amy said...

While I still love your posts that you call fluff, this one just filled me with so much emotion. This was so real and heartfelt. While reading, I could just feel the emotion. You wrote this so eloquenlty.

I am happy that you got your greatest gift. He is beautiful!

Btw, please continue to do your AI recaps, okay? lol

Lindsey said...

What a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing and well, your honesty is courageous! And that picture it is precious!

Also I do feel like my blog can just be "skimming the top", if you will....mostly fluff. I'm going to try to be a little more honest!

tulipmom said...

I'm so glad you decided to share this story with all of us. I do feel like I know you a little bit better now.

I'm sure T's Dad is looking down from Heaven and smiling on Baby J. But I also know how the sadness doesn't go away and how you and T. would probably give anything to have had him meet Baby J. At least that's how I feel about Tulipbaby and the grandmother after whom I will be naming her. As special as that connection will always be, it saddens me that my grandmother will never know this child. And vice versa.

Kamis Khlopchyk said...

Thank you so much for baring your soul a little bit. I can't express how happy I am that little J came to bless your family, you deserve it.

He is such a sweetheart!

Pam said...

That was a wonderful and amazing story...thanks for sharing!

KG said...

Great post! I have no idea when my little peanut was conceived. No clue whatsoever. I mean, obviously I was there for it . . . I'm sure it was fun at the time!

Oh, and when my hubby found out I was preggo? He continued to calmly fold the laundry. What the hell?!? He CLAIMS he thought I was kidding, but I think that's an excuse!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Wonderful post and DARLING baby!!!

Pregnantly Plump said...

Thank you for sharing. And I'm so sorry about your father in law. I really like how you envision him meeting Baby J in Heaven. That's a beautiful thought.

LunaNik said...

Wow...what an amazing story! And that pic...I LOVE newborn pics. They never fail to warm my heart!

Unknown said...

Wow! Thanks for sharing such special memories and actual pages out of your diary...it's so amazing to read your actual thoughts. It was very beautiful, I really enjoyed this.

verabear said...

What a nice welcome post for someone who's just found your blog today (via TT). Thank you so much for sharing. I have PCOS too and though I'm not yet married, I do worry about whether or not I will conceive. I know I will, in time :)

Martin said...

Thanks for pointing me to this post.

I can't obviously grasp it all as you can, being a fella, but it's ANOTHER example of the hope that we will hang onto.

Thank you very much for sharing.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Thank you so much for sharing your absolutely beautiful story. I understand the holding back, it seems I do that more and more as time passes. Your son is so lovely, what a blessing.
I will say a prayer for your mil, I hope everything is okay.

Anonymous said...

This is my first visit to your site. Seems I came at the right time! What a great story. It's good that you are starting to feel you can reveal more of your self on you blog. Will be back!

Rachel Holloway said...

I just found you through momblogs...looking for another Ohio mom. We just moved to this state this past summer and I really don't know many people. Not that you and I will probably ever meet--in fact we probably don't even live in the same area. Either way, it's nice to connect. :)

Thanks for sharing your beautiful sentiments. It is a tough balance in sharing what is truly intimate and all the fluff and stuff...

Kellan said...

I just want to let you know that I have been unable to leave a comment on your Buzz site - I'm not ignoring your nice comments over there, I just can't leave a comment on some of the Buzz sites (???) - I am going to keep trying. Thanks for coming by - hope you are having a good weekend. Kellan

Wineplz said...

Wow...that is an amazing story. And look at that sweet baby all wrapped up. *sigh*

suchsimplepleasures said...

what a wonderful story!! an amazing journey with a terrific ending!!
i'm so glad you shared that!
hey...did i know that you visit michigan frequently? because, i live in michigan...
next time you're here...let's have coffee...if it's kinda near me!!

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

I love all pregnancy and birth stories. And yours is especially sweet, as it was such an unexpected, but desired, blessing!

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Your story is a great one! It's awesome how everything fell into place. I'm sorry to hear about your father-in-law! What a miracle baby you have though!

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Misty said...

I, too started out very "fluffy" on my blog.

I needed more, too, because I felt like there was so much MORE to me, then just the "fluf" stuff. I needed to reach out, be heard, be understood.

abnmln@gmail.com - - USE it! (wink)
I'd love to get to know you better, and learn more of your story, too. I am most definitely willing to listen..... any time.

Family Adventure said...

Oh my goodness...what a story. You gave me goosebumps. The circle of life in its most extreme, me thinks.

And btw - I completely know what you mean about sharing or not sharing online. I find it hard to get 'personal', I stay pretty guarded, too. But you just broke through that shield...in a big way.

Happy Sunday,

Heidi

Kat said...

Thank you for writing so beautifully and honestly about something so personal. It is a gorgeous story. And I'm sure all FORTY of your commentors would agree! :)
It sounds to me that grandpa did indeed have a hand in sending down your little man. He is a little miracle man! Such a blessing!
I struggle with what I want to write sometimes too. I do want to write some personal things but also have family members reading. I try to use my blog as a journal, but keep the REALLY personal things for my hand-written journal.
Great post, Laskigal. Thank you for sharing!!!

Kat said...

And prayers for T's mom!

Jules said...

This was a really lovely story. Thank you so much for sharing it. You brought tears to my eyes and a special sort of warmth to my heart.

Anonymous said...

What a great story. Hopefully u give hope to some who do not have it at this point.
I lost my dad a few years ago and there isn't a day I don't think of him. I too am very sad about the fact that my little guy will not know his g-dad. But I will have plenty of stories to tell him.
Thanks again for sharing!

Anonymous said...

What a great story. Hopefully u give hope to some who do not have it at this point.
I lost my dad a few years ago and there isn't a day I don't think of him. I too am very sad about the fact that my little guy will not know his g-dad. But I will have plenty of stories to tell him.
Thanks again for sharing!

Karen said...

It's nice getting to know you a little more. Thanks for sharing.

Angela DeRossett said...

Love the picture... and thank you for the birthday wishes you left on my blog!!

Lori said...

Thanks for sharing that - your story is very inspiring. (especially to this 35 year old reader whose life circumstances haven't allowed me to have kids yet). There is still hope!

Eileen said...

I love that story. Love it.

Anonymous said...

I remember you briefly mentioning PCOS. I had no idea you had it. You know that I was diagnosed three years ago. Hearing your story gives us hope that maybe our wish for a little one will come true.

I never knew of your struggle. You're right, you always have a smile on your face.

J is just so beautiful. It was great seeing him last week. I can't believe how much he's grown.

We miss you!

Our Crooked Tree said...

I was feeling a little superficial about my posts lately too. Then at church today my minister mentioned he loved the blog...how in the @#*& did he find it?:) I am happy I have been somewhat reserved so far but also happy I am Episcopalian so my blog is kind of like confession:)!

Your story is amazing and yoru baby is beautiful! I remember sitting in my OB's office asking what was wrong with me the second time around...why was I not pregnant; should I just be happy to have one, am I being selfish when so many other woman have a hard time getting pregnant at least once? He reminded me to be patient. I soon learned I was sitting in his office pregnant but did not know yet. Everything happens when it is supposed to.

Thanks for sharing your story. When you are ready to share more you know we are all ears! For now, I will take posts about American Idol:)

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Wow, that story is nothing short of amazing. THank you for sharing. I know what you mean - sometimes I share more in my comments than in my posts too!

Texasholly said...

What an amazing story. We waited 10 yrs. too before kids. I loved the "I'm just a run on sentence". I had never thought of it that way. I also love that you were engaged in front of Baskin Robbins and told him in Sears. You guys are my kinda people! I am so glad your story had a happy ending/beginning...

Cynthia said...

What a wonderful story, thanks for sharing it:) Sweet picture.

KATE said...

Wow, I loved hearing all about BabyJ & his introduction into your life! I loved it, thanks so much for sharing with us all!

Kristi said...

Thanks for the honest and heart wrenching/warming story. I am going through a process of ovary problems as we speak and I will find out tomorrow what the verdict is. I am counting my blessings that I have two wonderful boys before this problem developed. I had been asking God to make the "more babies" decision for us so we didn;t have to. I guess he answered the question.

GoMommy said...

WOW! When you go personal, you really go personal!
I'm so sorry for all you went through, but so happy you were able to have J-
They are so worth it!

Laski said...

Thanks for the comments . . . your consideration is just too much for words.

Lori--YES, there is hope! Heck, Halle Berry gave birth at 41! So did my sis-in-law! (for the real world perspective).

Kristi--I'll be thinking of you . . .

Michele said...

Ah, I'm in tears! I'm soooooooooooo glad you opened up your heart and shared this with us, LaskiGal! And I'm so glad Heaven spared a little cherub, just for you and your husband. :0) Maybe T's dad is watching... from a distance.

Blessings & Smiles,
Michele

Anonymous said...

abby told me about this post. I remember when t's dad passed. I remember when you found out about j. I didn't know the whole story until now. You never let on all that much.

I second abby. We miss you.

Frances said...

I know what it's like to have PCOS.. I got pregnant right after stopping birth control.. but now that we are trying for number 2 we have run into a lot of problems.. My blog has a lot of it on there.

It's not fun to deal with - and the uncertainty can be so stressful.

Danielle said...

Thank you for sharing. I always feel like when I write something meaningful on my blog it is more for me than anyone else. I think writing really is like therapy and has helped me through some tough times. You are a wonderful writer and I wish I was 1/4 as good!

Tonya said...

Stopping in to say THANKS for the sweet comment you left at my blog today. It's SO NICE to meet you!

You said you found me through "Keep Believing?" That's pretty neat because that was my first visit there. (At least I think it was.. LOL!) We had a long very emotional journey with our son, and MISS him TERRIBLY. However GOD is restoring our JOY on a daily basis. We KNOW that we WILL SEE our son again.. we're just SO THANKFUL for JESUS! =-)

Joanne@ Blessed... said...

Ok, not only was that a beautiful story, it has been on my heart to share more about my story as well.

I know the heartache of losing a parent. My mom and best friend passed away eight years ago next month.

When we get to Heaven lets introduce each other to our dad and mom, eh?

Blessings, Joanne

Beth is wfg said...

I know I'm late in commenting, but I still wanted to say thank you for sharing more of you. You write beautifully and your words touched my heart.

Your little man was gorgeous then and he is still a cutie now! What a blessing.

ConverseMomma said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. As a woman who was told she would never have children, after three miscarriages, then went on to have two, one adopted, one biological, I know how important it is to get these stories out. There are so many women who are going through similar things. This post was really great!

girlymom said...

What a heartfelt story...WOW when you open up you do it with gusto! This is absolutely beautiful!

OhTheJoys said...

Girlfriend, THAT is how you should blog.

That was great.

Laski said...

Wow. You have all made me well up with gratitude for all the wonderful souls out there.

Thanks for the support!

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