I Need an Intervention

What happened to me? I mean, I don't think anyone will ever accuse me of being a fashion maven. But, still. What happened to me?

It isn't that I am a poor dresser, I am just not what one would call stylish or trendy. I'm practical. I'm budget conscious. I like to say, fashionably frugal. I am by far not a pro when it comes to accessorizing. I'm not in the know when it comes to handbags worth over $12. If a designer's goods aren't available at TJ Maxx, then I have no clue who they are and probably won't care. The only fabric I really know well is cotton. And more often than not, the only "heels" I wear have rubber ridges suitable for running. There are a few areas where I might let a little, dare I say, s ex appeal shine through (like my cute little VS under wear) , but quite honestly, all that was reserved for our pre-J days.

I think most people would call my style (if we can call it that at all) practical, sporty, classic, casual. I've tried the suits, the dresses, the halter tops, the designer this or that only to go right back to my tried and true choice of wares. Truth be told, I'm perfectly OK with that.

Until just the other day.

My friend A and I went to see Sex and the City. We thought it was great fun--we didn't care about weak story lines. It was SATC! The characters were great. The fashion was fun. The banter was witty enough to hold my attention. We had fun. After consuming a bag full of popcorn and a couple gallons of pop/soda/cola/soft drink, we decided to head into the mall and do a little shopping.

After a little window shopping ,we decided to stop at a rather trendy shop whose fashion is clearly aimed at the younger set. Well, that would be me, of course. I may not be all that hip, but surely I can find a "sporty/casual/classic" outfit or two.

I piled a half dozen articles of clothing in my arms and headed for the dressing room.
Top one--too snug
Top two--too revealing
Top three--too itchy
Top four--too "I wanna jump your bones-ish"
Top five--not bad, great color
Top six--If I were 14 and trying to woo the Jonas brothers, maybe (impressed that I know the Jonas Brothers? Me, too)

I come out of the dressing room with the ONE top that looked semi-OK if you squint really hard and something hits me. I suddenly look around. I mean REALLY look around. I glance back at the mirror. Then I look around again. Girls. Young women. Their cute jeans, the trendy tops, the fitted blazers, the hip skirts, the stylish sandals. . . I look back at the mirror.

At my reflection.

Oh no.

IT has happened. Not only was I not cool, trendy, or fashionable, but that practical, sporty, classic, casual look didn't exist either.


I looked like their mother. The oversized $5 Kohl's print t-shirt. Light blue jean crop pants (see, they stretch). Comfy sandals. My mom necklace. I was stunning. (See oversize top. Can you even make out my womanly attributes? I think NOT . . . so sad). Yes, I was too embarrassed to take a full on shot of myself. It was just too depressing.



Before some of you get all, "Hey, it's OK to get all comfy like! You deserve it. We are busy moms, women. Who cares what you look like, it is about what is on the inside. It is just CLOTHING!" Blah, blah, blah . . .

The fact is . . .

it doesn't look good. No matter how you spin it. Stretch jean and an oversized top on a Weeble Wobble are NOT COOL. Period.

Now, it wouldn't be so bad if I stuck with my cool, casual, sporty look, but this has just gone too, too far.


I mean, I used to wear kinda cute clothes like these . . . (actually, the plaid shorts I recently bought in hopes of having something "in style.") Then, after J, there were suddenly over sized plain t-shirts and large stretch pants and shorts everywhere . . .











I mean, it even invaded my under roos drawer . . . I used to wear cute Victoria's Secret under garments like these (which were never worn, I got pregnant before I had the chance to wear them. Didn't want to weird you out with a shot of WORN under garments.).











Now I wear something more along the lines of these (NOT MINE but a good example. They are from some story about a British woman's und ies--she used them to put out a fire! So many jokes for this one I can't even begin.)

















I used to wear cute sandals. I loved how they showed off my toned calves (only really toned part of my body). Add in a pedicure and I almost looked stylish (I've had all of 3 pedicures in my lifetime, mind you).












Um, pedicure? Are you kidding me?! My toes have no business out in public. However, I still go with sandals . . . um, flip flops. So se xy . . .











I used to carry purses with some style (and I'm not much of a purse carrier) that I found on sale or clearance (remember $12). It was clear you could find STYLE on a budget. Like, this one . . .












But, it has since been replaced by this $9 TJ Maxx goodie.












How about night time? I used to wear soft cotton or silk evening wear every so often (I must confess that shorts and t-shirts have always been common night wares). But, I felt so girlie and well, you know, good lookin' in them.



















Now, it is sleep pants (with bears on them) and a t-shirt (with holes in it). Turned on yet?




















We won't even discuss my hairstyle.

Clearly, I need an intervention. And maybe even a pedicure. . .

PS: Not aiming for the SATC look . . . not only is it far from my "sporty/classic/casual" look, but come on. Those who saw it, what was with the bird on the wedding dress??? I just would like to make it out of the PJs (or similar ) every now and then.