Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I Need an Intervention

What happened to me? I mean, I don't think anyone will ever accuse me of being a fashion maven. But, still. What happened to me?

It isn't that I am a poor dresser, I am just not what one would call stylish or trendy. I'm practical. I'm budget conscious. I like to say, fashionably frugal. I am by far not a pro when it comes to accessorizing. I'm not in the know when it comes to handbags worth over $12. If a designer's goods aren't available at TJ Maxx, then I have no clue who they are and probably won't care. The only fabric I really know well is cotton. And more often than not, the only "heels" I wear have rubber ridges suitable for running. There are a few areas where I might let a little, dare I say, s ex appeal shine through (like my cute little VS under wear) , but quite honestly, all that was reserved for our pre-J days.

I think most people would call my style (if we can call it that at all) practical, sporty, classic, casual. I've tried the suits, the dresses, the halter tops, the designer this or that only to go right back to my tried and true choice of wares. Truth be told, I'm perfectly OK with that.

Until just the other day.

My friend A and I went to see Sex and the City. We thought it was great fun--we didn't care about weak story lines. It was SATC! The characters were great. The fashion was fun. The banter was witty enough to hold my attention. We had fun. After consuming a bag full of popcorn and a couple gallons of pop/soda/cola/soft drink, we decided to head into the mall and do a little shopping.

After a little window shopping ,we decided to stop at a rather trendy shop whose fashion is clearly aimed at the younger set. Well, that would be me, of course. I may not be all that hip, but surely I can find a "sporty/casual/classic" outfit or two.

I piled a half dozen articles of clothing in my arms and headed for the dressing room.
Top one--too snug
Top two--too revealing
Top three--too itchy
Top four--too "I wanna jump your bones-ish"
Top five--not bad, great color
Top six--If I were 14 and trying to woo the Jonas brothers, maybe (impressed that I know the Jonas Brothers? Me, too)

I come out of the dressing room with the ONE top that looked semi-OK if you squint really hard and something hits me. I suddenly look around. I mean REALLY look around. I glance back at the mirror. Then I look around again. Girls. Young women. Their cute jeans, the trendy tops, the fitted blazers, the hip skirts, the stylish sandals. . . I look back at the mirror.

At my reflection.

Oh no.

IT has happened. Not only was I not cool, trendy, or fashionable, but that practical, sporty, classic, casual look didn't exist either.


I looked like their mother. The oversized $5 Kohl's print t-shirt. Light blue jean crop pants (see, they stretch). Comfy sandals. My mom necklace. I was stunning. (See oversize top. Can you even make out my womanly attributes? I think NOT . . . so sad). Yes, I was too embarrassed to take a full on shot of myself. It was just too depressing.



Before some of you get all, "Hey, it's OK to get all comfy like! You deserve it. We are busy moms, women. Who cares what you look like, it is about what is on the inside. It is just CLOTHING!" Blah, blah, blah . . .

The fact is . . .

it doesn't look good. No matter how you spin it. Stretch jean and an oversized top on a Weeble Wobble are NOT COOL. Period.

Now, it wouldn't be so bad if I stuck with my cool, casual, sporty look, but this has just gone too, too far.


I mean, I used to wear kinda cute clothes like these . . . (actually, the plaid shorts I recently bought in hopes of having something "in style.") Then, after J, there were suddenly over sized plain t-shirts and large stretch pants and shorts everywhere . . .











I mean, it even invaded my under roos drawer . . . I used to wear cute Victoria's Secret under garments like these (which were never worn, I got pregnant before I had the chance to wear them. Didn't want to weird you out with a shot of WORN under garments.).











Now I wear something more along the lines of these (NOT MINE but a good example. They are from some story about a British woman's und ies--she used them to put out a fire! So many jokes for this one I can't even begin.)

















I used to wear cute sandals. I loved how they showed off my toned calves (only really toned part of my body). Add in a pedicure and I almost looked stylish (I've had all of 3 pedicures in my lifetime, mind you).












Um, pedicure? Are you kidding me?! My toes have no business out in public. However, I still go with sandals . . . um, flip flops. So se xy . . .











I used to carry purses with some style (and I'm not much of a purse carrier) that I found on sale or clearance (remember $12). It was clear you could find STYLE on a budget. Like, this one . . .












But, it has since been replaced by this $9 TJ Maxx goodie.












How about night time? I used to wear soft cotton or silk evening wear every so often (I must confess that shorts and t-shirts have always been common night wares). But, I felt so girlie and well, you know, good lookin' in them.



















Now, it is sleep pants (with bears on them) and a t-shirt (with holes in it). Turned on yet?




















We won't even discuss my hairstyle.

Clearly, I need an intervention. And maybe even a pedicure. . .

PS: Not aiming for the SATC look . . . not only is it far from my "sporty/classic/casual" look, but come on. Those who saw it, what was with the bird on the wedding dress??? I just would like to make it out of the PJs (or similar ) every now and then.

66 comments:

Dirty Laundry Diva said...

Oh, don't beat yourself up about it. You need fabulous places to dress nicely for. Blame that on your man!

If he took you to fancy places you would look all beautiful and stylish right?

Nap Warden said...

The Sex and the City movie did the same thing to me...I don't think you can look that good, and have kiddos without a personal assistant!

Pam said...

count me in on that too. I am sadly a mommy dresser these days....where did it all go so badly off track? oh- it must have been in the labor and delivery room....

Chuck said...

Oh sister! There is so nothing wrong with being frugal. More of us need to keep it up to make a point. Be a leader! Make it happen - Cheap is gorgeous. *lovies* (p.s. got a giveaway if ya can stop by) Have a gr8 week :)

just jamie said...

Damn that SATC movie. My closet looks pathetic after seeing that, okay *before* seeing that it looked pathetic. BUt come on, that's wau too hard to keep up with.

noble pig said...

Oh lord you're right it has all come to this...I didn't even own cotton till I had kids and everything went to the dry cleaners. It was shocking when te baby threw up on everything I had...needless to say cotton became my material of choice.

As the kiddos have gotten older silk is creeping its way back into my life.

Pregnantly Plump said...

It's definitely hard to look cute and stylish, especially in this heat. Maybe you can use that as an excuse? Or maybe you can get your husband and friend to nominate you for TLC's what not to wear...

Lindsey said...

I'm sure baby J doesn't care what his mommy is wearing?!!!!

I'm feeling a little homely lately. I keep seeing all these cute sun dresses and I think I might try them and then.....I chicken out.

Danielle said...

I am sorry. I can't get those undies out of my mind. I dress pretty much the same now as I did pre Eliza.I wasn't trendy then and I am not trendy now. Mainly I just want to be comfortable!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

You know? It's really okay. I am fine doing the mom look most of the time now. It begins to become practical. I would keep up with all the trends if I still had a paycheck, but I'll gladly trade the money and the fashion to stay home.

Jamie said...

This made me laugh because I was seeing myself! Thanks! :-)

MoziEsmé said...

I can so relate!

Steph said...

Hey life is about being comfortable, the first thing I do when I get home is grab my mom jeans and tee and get comfy. However if you are proposing a shopping trip I am in!!!!

Life As I Know It said...

Yup, it happens. I'm right there with you!

A Buns Life said...

Are you channeling my brain? I have been in the process of doing a post similar to this for a while....all those pics and lugging the crap out of the closet to prove a point. You'll get it back....the first year after my oldest was born, I seriously didn't put a stitch of makeup on and my hair was always pulled up in a messy bun like thing. I'm a working mom. It was BAD. Looking back, I feel really sorry for my co-workers that they had to see me like that every day. I finally had enough, and wanted to feel better about myself, so I started putting make-up and at least drying my hair and leaving it down. The clothes...are another story. :)

Amy said...

Buy a few things - you will feel better! I am with you though, I like my sneakers and running clothes. I must say that there's nothing like a good pedi - good for the feet, mind and soul!

Sexy Housewife said...

I resolved to ditch all my frumpy clothes when I lost a bunch of weight (the last bags are going to a church sale this weekend). I still go for comfort on a budget but I pay attention to current styles. I don't want to dress the same as my 18 year old but I do want my clothes to fit and I want my hubby to lust after me...and he does!

zoeyjane said...

i think that you should start with baby steps. buy a pair of comfie sexier undies at the same time as a comfie sexier bra and a fitted teeshirt. rock the stretch capris with it and just wear whatever shoes you feel comfiest in - except for jellies or those damn crocs. (i will never agree with anyone wearing crocs for anything other than gardening :P)

Amanda said...

Guilty as described.

Sandy C. said...

OMG! Those bear pants + shirt= my daily wardrobe for morning, noon and night, unless I actually leave the house :(

That is too funny we both posted about our SATC aftermath :)

MommyTime said...

Oh, I feel your pain. I spend so much time feeling frumpy and dumpy in my sloppy comfy clothes that I lose sight of what I'm supposed to wear when I'm out of the house. I think it's time for a massive closet overhaul. I keep meaning to pack up all the postpartum t-shirts I bought (to house the nursing mama who would not fit into the fitted old ones) as well as everything else baggy and getting rid of it. You've inspired me to do just that. TJMaxx can be great: you just have to buy things that fit rather than things that are loose and baggy.

Karen MEG said...

Wait a minute here, you have a BABY; you are busy, burping, feeding, changing, running around, errands, non-stop, cleaning, so you need to be comfy! Give yourself a break!

SATC is a fantasy, fun froth (I'm so jealous that you saw it, BTW; I probably won't until it's on DVD... sigh).

You'll get your sexy back, don't you worry! As the kids get older, it's easier to find a bit of yourself back again. I just tossed out all my mom jeans and ventured beyond Old Navy again last year...I probably try a little too hard, but hey, it's fun LOL!

Caroline's Mom said...

I COMPLETELY know how you feel and am going through the same "icky" feeling right now too. Really, I would prefer to stay home all of the time so no one will see me. However, this can't happen. I have found some cute clothes at Target lately. Each piece was $15 each.

Did you ever upload J's pictures?

CC said...

Surely I don't know how to help as my wardrobe is, um, lacking.... (cough, cough)

Kathryn said...

Is it really bad that I thought you looked great in that top photo? Does that mean I am in worse shape than you? Probably. Oops.
Oh well. I really wouldn't trade lives with my 16 year old self anyway. My 21 year old self? Maybe. JUST KIDDING!!!
I think you look fabulous! And I wish we lived 5 minutes from each other so that we could go on a makeover shopping spree. Lord knows I could use it!
And the SATC movie seems to be having a very negative affect of women's self esteem. Kinda pisses me off. Here are these women with dollars to spare, personal trainers, chefs, personal shoppers and assistants making them look fab 24/7 and we feel we should look like them? Pa-lease! That is not real life. Not normal!

Kristen said...

This post was hysterical!!!

I have to agree that I think I had my own intervention recently. At the beginning of spring, I decided to start taking care of MYSELF! Crazy, living on the edge kinda thinking!

But, hey well worth it. Who says you can't at least feel pretty at 33 if you are a mom!?

This is the summer of Kristen! Getting back what used to be the "pretty girl who cared" before she had kids! :) I'm loving it!

Hang in there, and soon you will do the same!

Are You Serious! said...

♡ It's so true! Me too...

Huckdoll said...

No worries, hun! The first step is admitting it...and your wardrobe isn't so bad, but girl...you will feel 500 times sexier and walk with a strut if you have a few pieces that fit you properly! Oversize clothes are sometimes worse that too tight clothes.

You're so cute, darlin'! You should be strutting your stuff while you're still young and hot.

And get rid of the night clothes period. Not that I would know anything about that....

lattemommy said...

It's been so long since I wore something "stylish" that I can barely remember. *sigh* I keep telling myself that I'm going to go to the spa, get a new haircut, and overhaul my wardrobe. As soon as I get a nanny to watch the kids during this "me" marathon...

Rachel H. said...

I'm with ya there! When you find your intervention specialist, send them my way! :)

Oh...and I think it quite funny that I have seen your underpants but don't even know your name. :) How's that for deep thoughts? :)

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I'll be there just as soon as I can because those are not underpants. That's a parachute.

Misty said...

I, too, recently thought about this when Hannah brought home a Mothers Day card, in which she wrote all about me. She said my favorite outfit was polo shirts and cropped pants.... so true......

Mmmmwwwwaaahahahahahaha.

Karen said...

I hear voices in my head telling me that I should care a little more, but in reality if I'm comfy I'm happy. If I'm happy the family is happy. 'Nuff said.

Tracey said...

SATC... Um. They have what? ONE CHILD between the 4 of them? (Or did she finally adopt a little girl? Didn't watch it yet...) And they live in, dun dun dunnnnn!!! New York City? Yeaaahhh.... Let's reassess this ideal of what is realistic, ok? I am NOT a fashion diva (duh) and it doesn't personally make me THAT upset all the time, but I do so hate it when I have to go shopping and can't find stuff somewhere in the middle. You know, not for teens and not for matrons. But, it DOES exist. Just stay out of the juniors section from now on. :)

Marmarbug said...

Okay there is NO need to fret. Your problem is easy.
First - do you like what you wear? If you do then keep wearing it. Who cares what everyone else is wearing.
Second - if you do hate what you wear start off with small changes. Old Navy, Gap and what not have a lot of classic looks that won't make you feel like a teenybopper.
Start small grasshopper.

Bunchy said...

I hear ya. I went shopping yesterday, and picked out some cute stuff. My problem is the 20 lbs I put on in the last couple of years that is taking forever to come off. Then I'll treat myself to something incredibly hot. ;)

CableGirl said...

Ok, now i'll probably be booed for saying this, but as much as I love the show and loved the movie, I HATE HATE HATE the fashion in SATC. To me it seems that Carrie can never wear anything that doesn't look like it belongs on a Sesame Street Muppet. Just my opinion.

And on that note, yeah, I have some cute clothes. I don't do labels, I do what style fits me... and fits my mood and personality. If it doesn't fit you (emotionally or physically) it won't look good.

And thanks for yesterday's comment on my post. I appreciate the input. :)

Kimmylyn said...

There are days I look in the mirror and I am "I actually went out like that?" I so get this post. We as moms have to steal time to put a little more time into our appearance.. I know it makes me have a better day if I look decent.

Kimmylyn said...

PS. I have yet to see the SATC movie.. grrrr

Kellan said...

You are not alone!! It's a mother thing. I have a whole closet full of fabulous clothes that I don't wear.

Have a good day - Kellan

Amy said...

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I can honestly say that the "fashion" in it never did anything for me. Who dresses like that really?
Me, I'm a jean girl, so I have a few pairs of good designer denim. Jeans are always in style and since I wear them almost everyday, I can justify the cost.
And I am in love with the fact that long, flowy tops are in right now. Does much to cover that little pooch that just won't go away.

Kori said...

If I did not have a job where I actually HAVE to dress up (office Casual, but STILL), I would where my pajamas all of the time, mostly becuase I don't care. So I say kudos to you for giving a shit and wanting to do something about it! Though, okay, I am envious of those pink undies; my left leg wouldn't even fit in them! :)

Tranny Head said...

Oh no! You need an intervention, man - and definitely a pedicure.

I dug through my undewear drawer and discovered a pair of cotton BEIGE underwear. Ick! I threw them away and realized how far I'd fallen - and I hauled arse over to Vicky's Secret and revamped.

Oh - and I wear Crocs. *hangs head in shame* But they're the flip flop kind that don't really look like Crocs, so I say they're ok.

tommie said...

It happens.....

I could write novels about this...but sadly I am 'borrowing' internet. So, I'll just leave it at that.

Denise said...

OK - the underwear scared me. :o)

I saw your profile and that you like Maroon 5 and 3 Doors Down. Yeah!! Me too!!

SWC said...

This could easily have been written by me. In fact, a couple of months ago I decided I needed to make a change. I've been slowly adding good quality, nice pieces to the wardrobe and resisting the urge to buy oodles and oodles of ill-fitting and not-quite-right clothes from Kohl's. It's a sickness. I took some advice from a fashionista gal that I work with who is based (no surprise) in New York. She told me to watch "What Not to Wear" on TLC. Which I do. But really, it's not too hard to follow the advice that they give. I still look like a total "mom" but now more like a "cool mom" and not a "run-down-crazy-busy-mom". But I still can't bring myself to buy new underwear and cute PJ's, much to hubby's chagrin no doubt. Whatever, girl. This is us. It's what's inside, right? Just the same, it is good to remind ourselves that we are still beautiful women.

XO - Love ya!

KATE said...

I'm sure I will have a more normal comment when I'm done laughing!!! Can't.stop.those granny panties, are killin me! ha ha ha

Kami said...

I was there! Honest I was. As my boys got older and I got back into shape I am getting better....still not SATC but not mom jeans either. Somewhere in the middle is right perfect :-)

You'll get there too!

Jonny's Mommy said...

I have been kind of lurking on your blog for awhile. it is cracking me up though. Loved the post on the lady at the store who ripped into the parking place. It was both funny and sad...more sad because people can be suck losers.

Anyhow, I was once in a store and had the same realization. One had to be shaped like a stinking twig to fit in those clothes and I was not shaped that way -- at all.

I was also not 13 with no hips and no boobs. I was crap out of luck to fit in those clothes.

Anyhow, hope to read more of your blog. Have an awesome day in your baggy shirts and blue jeans!

Lori said...

I have never been much of a "fashion" person - Kohl's is my favorite store and I go for the bargains and comfort. I have no kids yet, so what is my excuse? ha!

painted maypole said...

i've been trying to make a conscious effort to stop reserving my "cute clothes" for special occasions and wearing something at least half way decent!

Lisa said...

I'm not near as cute & hip as I used to be either. I find I'm often more worried about how cute my kids look instead of how I look (right now wearing black yoga pants & tshirt with ponytail - what a diva, huh?)

Wendi said...

Is there a support group for moms like us?
I need help too.
I haven't completely let myself go...but I am in need of a haircut,and an updated wardrobe.

I love this line:
"No matter how you spin it. Stretch jean and an oversized top on a Weeble Wobble are NOT COOL. Period."
How did you know I looked like a weeble wooble?

Lindsey said...

DOn't feel bad!!!! NO ONE looks good in the mirror after watching SATC. NO ONE. You'll get your groove back!!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Tootsie Farklepants did a great Fight the Frump post--basically, just go with a better t-shirt--one of the trapeze styles that are in and make sure you have really cute flip-flops.

Sue said...

I have to say, with a son as young as yours, I am VERY impressed that you know who the Jonas Brothers are. My girls kiss their pictures in Tiger Beat magazine.

Hang in there on the "mommy look", I think many of us are in the same boat. Especially when our kids are babies.

Aliki2006 said...

For about two months I wore sexy lingerie, right after we were married. Then it was hello flannel pants, and good-bye Victoria's Secret.

Colleen said...

welcome to my rut!

my husband gets mad that I don't dress cute and/or sexy anymore, and I'm like "have you noticed how my stretch-marked baby flab hangs out BELOW the hem of my shirt and flaps around? It's not a good look!" Then add in a tight budget and we're stuck with whatever Kohl's, Target, or TJ Maxx offer (sometimes Old Navy, but lately they've been annoying me with their recent vanity re-sizing).

jakelliesmom said...

Here's my secret - I try very hard not to be trendy. Certainly, I update my jeans every few years, but I'm okay with being a classic. Except I don't wear capri pants much, I try to keep athletic shoes for athletic purposes, and I only really wear t-shirts to the gym.

Mommy Mechanics said...

I haven't seen the movie yet but just watching any show on tv makes me look at myself and wish I had just a little more energy to dress cute like the girls on tv more often. My style consists of jogging pants day after day after day, and there is no jogging in my schedule, I guess comfort is just my priority these days.

OHmommy said...

Don't worry about it..... our time will come. Soon. To be hawt again! Right? Right? ;)

Elaine A. said...

Yesterday I actually sported a skirt around the house because I absolutely refuse to be Frumpo Mommy! My son was like "Mommy - you are a princess!" Love it!

My usual attire is shorts and knit top but yesterday I felt a little funky!

SATC did the same to me & made me want to go shopping!!

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

hee hee. It happens to the best of us I think. At least you have recognized the problem, now you can slowly bring back the 'you'.
When I was a new mom,I was all about the leggings and enormous, long t-shirts. I just cringe when I see photos now. ugh. Thankfully, I and my style have evolved a bit!
Good luck!

Adonis said...

Too love fashion clothes.... & like to change my style according to the trends. My latest style dress is a capri pantsuit from Bargain Catalog Outlet.

ConverseMomma said...

I don't care what anyone says, the granny panties are staying. A fashion stylist would have to pry them off my cold dead body. Seriously!!!

RJTrue said...

I'm a little belated but I'd just like to throw in some input here.

I'd go with top #2 or top #4 - but that's just me! Haha ...

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