Monday, January 7, 2008

A Moment

I read the sweetest post about the innocence of a child and the fleeting of time today over at World of One Thousand Different Things. I had already posted two other times today (I guess I'm a little anxious today), but her lovely words prompted me to write.

Today, after getting the approval from our pediatrician, we decided to introduce J to solids. He is just shy of his fifth month. Although I was adamant that he not start solids until six months, I couldn't deny his enthusiasm as he watched me eat. He would ooh and ahh. He smiled and giggled as each morsel entered my mouth. I took to entertaining him with a soft, gleeful growl as I munched on the food. He recently started to reach out for my hand, then the fork or spoon, and then my mouth, as if he could catch the food before it went down. I felt like an Olympic Athlete performing the most amazing feat when he watched me eat. I was amazing in his eyes. So, I knew it was time . . .

I mixed the rice cereal with my milk and daddy and I set the stage. Knees together, bib in place, bowl in my lap, J is his daddy's lap, spoon in hand, we began. The first bite was near perfection. There was no thrusting action by his tongue as the watery cereal went cleanly down. Another spoonful and a little dribbled down his chin. I caught it and returned it to his open mouth. He wasn't smiling. He wasn't giggling. He WAS amazed. He got a little restless as we started the next bite. Daddy and I began the gleeful growl that usually results in an ear-to-ear grin. He took another bite--more dribble. Then . . . the lip. Next . . . the tears.

Within moments J had fallen into a complete meltdown. T (husband) wanted to try just one more bite. Deep inside I knew what was wrong and knew another bite simply would not calm him. I took him into my arms and handed the food to T. J furiously clawed at my top. He looked up at me with tears streaming down his face and the milky cereal collecting at the corners of his mouth. The cries were hard and silent as he tried to catch his breath. I knew. Within moments he latched on. I looked down at his little face. His eyes, still tear-filled, stared back at me as if to say, "Why?" His body relaxed and as it did it spoke volumes. "Will I ever get my milk again?" That spoon. That bowl. That cereal. It was all so new to him. He had no idea what it meant--was this his new food source? Would this be it? No more Mommy Milk? I felt his little hands clasp my shirt and his body curl around mine. His eyes never left my face.

This was all so new for him. I often forget, and I thank Aliki2006 for reminding me, that each and every experience is so new for J. He has no idea what it is, will it last, will it happen again, will I come back, where I went . . . no idea. He's learning fast, but at the same time it is often a scary, amazing, happy, terrifying, sad, upsetting time for him. It makes me cherish each moment--because each moment is just that, a moment. A moment that will only happen once in his lifetime and once in mine.


MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Wow, what a... whoa... I don't have the word I want to use... profound? Amazing. I felt for your little guy, like how he must have felt, so excited, then scared, wanting to try something new, but then wanting what was familiar and comfortable. It took me back to when my kiddies were babies. Makes me sad because they are just moments, and they do go by so quickly!

ANd thank you so very much for stopping over at my blog and for your comment! If you can get out to donate blood, that would be great; if not, if you can tell someone to donate, that'd be great too!

Cecily R said...

Oh and those experiences go by so fast! I could have sworn that I just left the hospital with my third and now she's pulling herself up to the couch and crawling like a pro.

You are clearly basking in every moment of your little guy's new life and I promise you won't ever be sorry about doing it!!

Thanks so much or stopping by and reading my silly post about my husband. I hope to read more of your great writing soon!

Denise C said...

Precious, precious post! OH, the deep love of a mommy! It takes me back a decade ago to my baby days with my little gal. Oh, such sweet days! Melt into each second, for they do pass ever so quickly! However, each new year brings wonderful new adventures too! I have loved them all! You have so many wonderful days ahead of you!

Congratulations on being a "new mommy"! Your little baby sounds so adorable!

Thank you for visitng my blog! I am always happy to meet new people!

Many sweet blessings to you!

Anonymous said...

Wow. This is a serious post from you--I really like it. Your debate posts made me laugh. This one made me sad. It makes me hug jr. girl a little more (like that's possible). Thanks for the post.

Praise and Coffee said...

Wow, what an amazing post.
My (bio) baby is 15 years old and I think I let down reading that!

I missed that with our little girl from China.

You cherish every moment.
Thanks for stopping by to visit me!

tommie said...

like everyone who has previously commented....that was an amazing post! My 'babies' are three and four now, and I loved our nursing time. No matter what is wrong in the world, a little mommy milk and a snuggle makes it all better!

Thanks for visiting my blog. PS I need to change my profile....I am no longer a "diaper changer", my 3 year old is finally potty trained!!

Happy tuesday

Kat said...

What a beautiful post. So amazing that you know your baby so well already. I think many mothers would have just assumed that he did not want the food, but you seem very in tune with him. What a lucky baby to have you.
I actually posted about fleeting babyhood today too. We must all be feeling it right now.
Thanks for stopping by my site. It is nice to "meet" you. :)

girlymom said...

I have been going through similar situations with my youngest. She's about 4 months and here and there we bring out the spoon, I have determined she's not quite ready- her tongue still gets in the way. We are just practicing now. You will be amazed how fast he picks it up though- it won't be long before he starts eating like a champ and is getting upset because you can't spoon it in fast enough!

Don't you love those little innocent eyes looking up at you. My fav is when she is just staring at me and realizes I am looking at her and smiles, then back to business, but looks back up to see if I am still looking. :)

Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting. It will be nice to get to know you and your little one!

Misty said...

It is such a kind reminder to cherish all those small moments that grow so quickly in our hearts. I have 3 children myself, and we're looking towards planning for our 4th, but oh my heart aches when I think of the time that is not passed with these sweet little ones growing in my home. We have them for such a short time.......

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to reading more of yours....

Oh.... and with the cereal. Try expressing a small amount of your milk and mix it with the cereal. He might welcome the taste a little more.

L. Lemanski said...

Thanks for all the posts! I can't believe how fast time flies. It was so great to read all of your posts and profiles and see that there are so many others who feel the same.

We tried again this morning and he was a lot more responsive. Misty--we used expressed milk and he's doing pretty good.

I keep feeling that the next time I blink he'll be packing for college!

Aliki2006 said...

This was so perfectly expressed--how intuitive and sensitive of you to know exactly how he was feeling. I remember feeling that same catch-in-my breath feeling when both my babies started solids, and with every milestone, too.

RJTrue said...

I think my heart just broke a little bit for J.
Thankfully he has you.
You're definitely one amazing mom.

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Yes, they do go by so fast. Enjoy each milestone (and sleepless night). You blink and it goes by!

BTW, you're a very talented writer!

L. Lemanski said...

MamaGeek--thank you! Even as an English teacher I am never all that confident in my ability as a writer--so your words mean a lot. I also have great subject material--J--he's my little inspiration.

rjtrue--thank little sis!

Mr Lady said...

One: Thank you so much for coming by my blog.

Two: Are you prepared for the whole new level of POOP? Seriously?

It's pure evil. I wish you luck and Febreze.

L. Lemanski said...

Yeah, I've been warned about the poop. I'm a little nervous, but I guess I gotta make the jump eventually. My little Diaper Champ will be doing double duty. And yes, I have Fabreeze, baking soda, extra bags, stick-ups, and an array of odor-fighting paraphernalia ready to go!

Oh, and my hubby slightly OCD, so you can imagine . . .

Burgh Baby said...

Thanks for visiting my place! And yes, they do eventually sleep through the night. They'll even do it for long stretches--weeks, maybe even months. But then they revert to their terroristic night creature ways and it hurts SO much more than those early months.

This post was incredible. You did a fantastic job of capturing that moment. I enjoyed your summary of the debates as well--it's nice to know that other people are trying to find the substance in the candidates, and not just voting based on media vibes.

Laura said...

What a wonderful and powerful post. You write so well.

Thank you for stopping by my blog.I appreciate your comments.

I really love your blog and will be a regular reading for sure. You are so elegant and true in your stories.

I always try to imagine how my little ones see things for the first time. And i love how you picked up on the fact that is it also our first time as parents!

Thanks for sharing!

L. Lemanski said...

Laura--Oh, thank you! I can't promise to always be so eloquent, but truthful I will alway be. I really enjoyed your blog as well. I am so fortunate to have stumbled upon so many great sites (and mommies, of course!). Thanks again for the comments.

Holly said...

Awwww...what a sweet little guy! I'm sure he will get used to the cereal soon... spoonful by spponful.

Thank you for visiting my blog the other day. Nice to meet you! I enjoy your writing style.

Lindsey said...

My youngest baby is a little younger than your little one....and oh-how-wonderful babies are! I fed my little Harper Jane (she will be 5 months on Jan 25) part of a banana yesterday and her precious faces were priceless. I also have a 4 year old that so enjoyed watching her baby sis try some "big girl" food. Don't you just love every single moment? I certainly do!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such a sweet comment. I have enjoyed perusing your blog and will be back:) Take care and hold on tight....time flies!

Lindsey said...

I am also a teacher taking the year off and I really don't miss much about it (though I do miss my students a little:). I am also new to this blogging business. So much in common. What did you teach?

L. Lemanski said...

Lindsey--I'm an English teacher. I also advised student council and coached track. You know how you are never JUST a teacher. Thank goodness I avoided MOST (ugh, not all) the extra committee work.

J's doing great with rice cereal, though I know he'd love banana (mommy's favorite), so I think I'll try that as his next food. He's barely 14 lbs (he's a preemie by a month). Surprisingly, he's a eater!

Thanks so much for coming by and the great comments!

Lindsey said...

When is J's birthday? My youngest was also a month early. She weighs just 12 pounds (exactly). I was worried about it though have been reassured by her doc.

No you are never JUST a teacher. I am so enjoying my year off. I may not go back next year. Teaching is such a demanding profession and I was totally drained when I arrived home. I felt that I could give very little to my oldest (I worked while she was a baby).

I'm enjoying your blog and have added you to my blogroll. I hope that's ok?!

L. Lemanski said...

Lindsey, J was born August 10th. He was scheduled to come September 6th. At his last ped. app. he was in the 25th percentile. Doctor was happy with his progress. As long as he is thriving, the doctor has no worries. When was your little one born?

And I feel that SAME way you do about teaching and the possibility of going back! I feel so glad to have found someone who feels the same as I do.

Thanks for the add . . . I'm adding you to my fave list as well! How can I not!

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