Saturday, May 17, 2008

I am not a thief . . . not on purpose anyway

Today T (the husband) and I met at the local Kroger so he could give me some cash to pump some gas. He filled the tank. We chatted. He decided to come along with J and me to the store. We hopped in my car and took off. We hit Walmart (I hate Walmart, especially on FRIDAYS!) and Toys R Us (we need to baby proof and were looking for supplies--yes I did end up with two toys that I argued would be distractions thus they would keep baby safe.). We were in the car headed back to get T's car and he suddenly shouts, "I never paid for the gas!" I was in disbelief. WHAT?

We sat in a stony silence. I swear I was holding my breath. OMG. My husband is going to jail and I'll be left to raise little J all on my own. We'll have to move closer to the prison so that J can have a relationship with his father. I quit my job! What will we do for money? This will be in all the papers! The little old ladies at church will hold fundraisers to buy diapers and clothes for J. They'll bring by pot roast and pie to help keep my spirits up. The thoughts kept piling up.

We fully expected the squad cars to be there . . . waiting. I kept looking for any police car--surely they already have an APB out for us. I mean, we're fugitives, right? I see the Kroger sign and I swear my heart stops . . .

Nothing. No cars. "They are probably undercover, waiting to pounce on you," I announced. I wasn't very helpful.

He jumps out of the car (I swear it was still moving) and rushes over to the attendant. My eyes dart around looking for the cops that I am sure are about to descend on T. I spot an old lady. Nope. Probably not her. I see a young couple. Nope, probably not them either. A little kid hanging on to his mom's coat. Can't be him.

I see T chatting it up with the attendant. Blah, blah, blah . . . bring out the cuffs already.

But there are no cuffs. There are no cops. There are no sirens. T comes back to the car with a big dorky smile planted on his formerly pasty white face. "He didn't call it in. He figured I'd be back. I mean, my car is right there." What? Are they kidding me? I mean, this guy pumped gas (nearly $70 worth) and they were going to let him go!?! What about the rest of us schmucks who plunk down our hard earned cash for just a few gallons? We were gone for well over an hour! How long was the guy gonna wait--a week?

Not one cop. Nothing. Is it bad that I was just a little disappointed?

note: we live in a small town. I swear if we were back in Chicago or Detroit, we never would have made it out of the parking lot . . .





Maybe once J starts walking, we can train him to do this . . .

56 comments:

tommie said...

I almost feel embarrassed laughing at that....almost!

Misty said...

I am still laughing.....

Oh dear....

Elaine A. said...

That video totally rocks. And yes, I think with the way gas prices are climbing that it would be a very good idea to train J to do that. There may be a little "training" goin' on around here too...

Mr Lady said...

HAHAHA!

Secret? I worked at a gas station for 3 years. Wanna know what happened? I'll tell you if you really want to know...

He pumped his gas. He left his car there. They wrote down his plate number. Even if he had left, they still would have his plate number off any of the many cameras around.

They waited, plate number in hand. If he hadn't returned by the end of that guy's shift, they'd have called it in.

Driving off is kind of a big deal, and you kind of get in a LOT of trouble if you get busted doing it. The cops almost never come to a gas station because it happens so often. You have to have a plate number and an obvious intent to rob in order to get a cop out there.

So, yeah, they COULD HAVE had cops out there, but they are clearly nice guys. I'd make that my old station if I were you.

PS: That would have been totally awesome if they were there! Imagine the pictures for the blog!

Kristi said...

That's the opposite of what I encountered at the pump a few days ago. I had a rental car and I pulled up to fill the tank. I couldn't find the lever to open the tank and i searched around for a good five minutes. By the time I found it, there were four employees watching me. When I went in to pay, I asked them if I had amused them, and they responded that no, that is a classic sign of a drive off if a person site there for a long time before starting to fill and that was what they were watching for.

Law Student Hot Mama said...

Once long ago (between husband Army reservist and claiming dependency from my dad who was Air Force reserves) I accidentally pumped gas at one of those NEX things. It wasn't on a base - it was just a random NEX gas station in the middle of an urban area! Weird. I remember thinking, "Wow - that's cheap gas!"

Anyway, I totally didn't have a military ID at that time and I had to go in and 'fess up to the attendant. I mean, what could I do, get the gas back out of my tank? The lady just told me not to do it again!

Pam said...

that was just about the funniest post ever! And the video- pretty funny too!

Karen said...

It's the small town thing. People out here are just much more trusting.

Angela said...

LOL!!! Oh my heart was beating fast for you...

Becoming Me said...

Oh my goodness. The drama....

Wendi said...

That story was Priceless!
You sound like me...always thinking ahead to possible scenarios. Too funny!
Husbands and children...thank goodness they provide lots of blog fodder for us.
That video is hysterical!

Laski said...

I tell you it is all because of this town. The cops were either busy busting a meth lab or rescuing some poor sap who locked himself in his barn. It is a weird place in which we live. The dichotomy of a small town.

just jamie said...

That's why you have to pay first to pump in California. :) Good job Laski family. And Mr. Lady's comments scared me.

Aliki2006 said...

We have to pay first around here, but even then, sometimes I am hit by this horrible thought as I drive off that maybe I forgot to pay!

Lindsey said...

You would not have even gotten your feet back in your car without paying in Detroit!! What a nice guy:)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That is pretty funny.

Here in California we have no attendants so there's no way that could ever happen. You have to pay by debit or credit at the pump before you start pumping.

Kristen said...

Oh how funny! So glad to hear that there were not cops there waiting.

Don't you just love small towns? There really are advantages to living there.

Lucky girl! :)

Sue said...

It seriously would have made a good blog post if Dad was being arrested and J sat in the car wondering what the heck was happening and you took pictures of course!

ConverseMomma said...

My hubby accidentally forgot to pay for a big box of diapers last week. He has been worried about his karma ever since.

CC said...

that movie totally had me in stitches!!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Oh my god!!!

Shamelessly Sassy said...

"OMG. My husband is going to jail and I'll be left to raise little J all on my own. We'll have to move closer to the prison so that J can have a relationship with his father." hahahahahahahahahahaha. Loved it. I was once accused of stealing gas. ( I so didn't. Luckily, I had my receipt to prove my innocence.)

RJTrue said...

Were we trained to think the very worst and plan out life accordingly?? Seriously I would have thought the exact same things! I can't believe my bro-in-law is a thief!!

Haha ... great laugh. I hope you taught J that stealing is bad.

But, then again ... $70 of free gas???

;)

huddtoo said...

hehehe That's to funny!

But, I know, I'd be thinking the exact same things as you!! OMGOMGOMG, we'll be arrested, OMG! ;)
I always think the worst though.

So glad you made out OK and didn't spend the night in jail or anything.

I'm curious to know why the guy thought you'd be back. Can't judge a book by it's cover.. what made him think you'd be back over someone else?? Hmmm...

ROFL at that you tube clip. That's funny.

Bunchy said...

You crack me up! I would have been totally panicked, too!!! lol

Tara R. said...

I would have freaked out too. You tell a great story.

slouching mom said...

phew! lucky you!

i got all nervous just READING that.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I *lol*'d the whole way through this thing!

Tracey said...

I'm not surprised, really. I mean, his car WAS there. Maybe he thought that he forgot his money and was coming back with it? The cops probably would have been called, eventually...

I remember, about 8 years ago, that I pumped gas and then went inside and realized I had no money! No credit card, nothing! The man inside, I kid you not, said "Just bring it back when you get a chance." :O He didn't want my license or anything. Crazy...

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I am totally giggling...'they'll bring us pot roast and pie...'
My mind works that way too.

Cecily R said...

You guys are awesome. And clearly, totally MADE for each other.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

Oh my gawd... that video is hilarous and I feel guilty for laughing! lol

Lindsey said...

Laughing out loud.

Seriously.

Hysterical.

I do hope your husband has recovered!

Aunt Becky said...

We forgot to pay for the dog's grooming services yesterday and had to go back to the store to pay. They were surprised that we'd come back, but I wouldn't have felt right about that.

Colleen said...

I've left Target with an unpaid gallon of milk and left Babies R Us with a case of wipes under my cart unpaid (in each case I didn't realize it until a few weeks later when l went through my receipts in my wallet). I felt guilty for weeks, but what could I do a month or so later when I realized mine (and the cashier's) error? I guess we'll see what circle of hell I end up in. ;)

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

THANK YOU!! XOXOX I got my presents!! I love the stuff!

xoxox

Beth

Angie said...

Reading Mr. Lady, it sounds like you are lucky you returned before shift change. Or maybe not, based on your slight disappointment.

KEEP BELIEVING

noble pig said...

Wait till your little guy is walking and you are in a clothing store like Gap...they stuff everything in the back of the stroller and you go home. Two days later you find all the stolen merchandise they stuffed in there. It's really fun.

Kimmylyn said...

Hysterical.Of course now that it is over and the cops were not called.. :)

Lisa said...

I did that by accident once with both kiddos in the minivan. I was back in my old college town having a reunion with friends, when 2 blocks away from the gas station I get pulled over. You see, it didn't get my card scanned right, and I didn't ask for a receipt...so they took it that I STOLE! It. Was. Humiliating. I had to be escorted back to the gas station & everything.

Feel your pain, girl.

Kami said...

Oh my goodness! You made me laugh with your vision of the future with T in jail for gas theft!

Thank goodness for low key gas guys...

MamaGeek said...

Oh that's funny. Accidents happen but that sure got my heart rate up reading that!

Marmarbug said...

OH NO!!!!! I love the video. I am teaching that to Bean.

I would have been so worried!

Karen MEG said...

That video was so funny!!

I would have flipped out on the hubs too, I'm a stress bag that way.

And you are absolutely hilarious, being disappointed ... after all that worry, you think they would have at least had the decency to even have a volunteer cop on site LOL!!!

Sandy C. said...

ROFL at the video clip :)

Oh man, I feel the same anticipation when I accidentally walk out of Target with an item from the $1 dollar section wedged under my bags...

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

There needs to be handcuffs after all that. I'm sure you could find some somewhere. What you do with them is totally up to you, of course.

Lori said...

I would have been embarassed to go back and scared - I do stuff like that all the time when I'm distracted or busy! ha! Small towns are great though!

verabear said...

Hilarious!

abby p said...

I'll bet T was freaked out! What was the worst thing he's ever done? Swipe an extra ketchup packet?

Hope you had fun at the zoo. I want to hear what J liked best.

Motherhood for Dummies said...

ha ha ha so glad that you posted the video :)

HRH said...

I am almost rooting for the cops here...weird!

This really made me laugh.

Nap Warden said...

Nice gas station attendant...in The Big City, they're packin' heat!

OHmommy said...

Teeheee..... I puffy heart small towns. ;)

I have a good life said...

How crazy! BTW: I couldn't wait for your Idol post....I do think David A did better, but I thought it unfair that Simon ragged so much on Cook. Next year, I think the judges should not be allowed to speak on the final night. Let the audience decide without ANY influence! :)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

that is crazy! but hilarous. I've driven off without getting the gas before, AFTER paying for it......

DysFUNctional Mom said...

oh and I loved how your brain went through the potential outcome of this....the church ladies cooking for you? priceless!

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