Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I quit.

I did it. I just quit my job. I am no longer "teacher, on leave for the year." I am now . . . SAHM.

There is a sense of relief. I mean, I'm supposed to feel relieved, right? If I'm so relieved, why am I typing this through tears? I have no idea why . . . I KNOW that this is the best decision for me.

I do feel free. I know I've had a constipation of ideas. Of words. Maybe finally letting go will help me . . . be . . . real. Maybe.

I need to figure out where my head is. Thank you for letting me share . . .

63 comments:

Misty said...

Oh Baby..... It's going to be just fine. There is a flood of emotions making any major life decision.... and you are bound to feel the joy of what is gained, and also the sadness of what may be lost. It's hard to move onto to new chapters of our lives, saying farewell to others.

But just think.... now you can come to my house and see those white topped mountains you thought were so pretty!

Lori said...

giving up my teaching job was veryyyy hard for me too. I think a lot of it (at least for me) is being a teacher isn't just a job... it's part of who you are, part of your identity.

I won't say it's been a piece of cake, August was very hard knowing I wouldn't be preparing for a new class. But, at the same time I wouldn't give up my time with Blake for anything.

Just know that teaching is a profession that is part of you and you can go back when you are ready.

Marmarbug said...

It is SO hard to decide to SAH. People who have never had to do it think it is simple.
Good for you! YOu took the first step. You WILL come to terms, it just may take a while to realize you are not going back to work!

just jamie said...

Good for you Laski.

Since my kids have been born, I've only job-shared one year ... and it stunk. I'm taking another Leave next year. By the time I go back, they'll be just shy of their 5th birthday. But you know what? We'll never regret these years?

Congratulations.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I was that teacher once. It feels great to make the clean break. And, your summer started NOW, without having to look in dread at August for inservice.

Kimmylyn said...

lucky.
seriously I wish I could stay home with the boys.
Good luck on your job.(tons of overtime at this one for sure!!) :)

Law Student Hot Mama said...

I also wish I could stay home with my boy! I swear women are damned if they stay home and damned if they don't! EIther way we're criticized and left feeling guilty!

painted maypole said...

you know, making any decision means denying something else, and it's OK to mourn what you are giving up, even when you know you are doing the right thing. allow yourself to mourn it. it's OK. then allow yourself to enjoy what you ARE doing.

Becky said...

Hey congrats! And you'll find your way, I promise. If I can do it, anyone can do it :)

Trish said...

Good for you. Jamie basically quit (while keeping her toe in the door) and she has never been happier! Don't be sad. This is a great opportunity for you to be a teacher to your own children You will always be a teacher.

I lost my job last year (and I don't have anyone else to help support us) but I decded to SAH and work from home and it is the best thing that ever happened.

Take Care. You are on Mile 1.

Stacie said...

it is a huge decision and I am sure there are many emotions running through you.

Honey, enjoy your time with your child, you can ALWAYS go back if being a sahm isn't what you thought it would be.

Great thing about life is we have choices and we don't HAVE to feel guilty about making our own choices.

I wish you the best of luck!

Kami said...

I just quit a splurge group that I have been part of for 3 years because going has become really painful for me - really long story! But? It still makes me sad. Even decisions that are right for us leave us feeling sad and maybe even a little regret. It's because nothing is ever all bad. I bet you enjoyed your teaching job but you enjoy being home with that sweet baby boy more. That doesn't mean you don't like teaching and won't miss it a bit.

Big hugs! You won't look back, I promise and there may be opportunities to work from home. You just never know. I never thought that was an option for me but it turns out it was and you k now what? I love it 1000 times more than my "real" job.

:-)

Tara R. said...

That's a big step and big emotions are expected. When my babies were little and I decided to be a SAHM too, it was the best thing I ever did, and I never regretted it. Just take a breath, and enjoy this time! Good Luck.

Angie said...

I felt the same reserved elation when I quit my job a few years back. I think it was the best decision of my life at the time. I have never regretted it. I think you will feel the same. There will be small moments of regret, but they will be outweighed.

KEEP BELIEVING

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

A little known fact about me: I to was a teacher who quit.

It. Was. Hard.

**hugs**

Laski- when the time is right, and if you want to go back to teaching, you can. Teachers are always needed. Especially the good ones.

This will be okay. The more I am home with my children, the happier I am that my husband and I made this decision.

tommie said...

I never thought I would be a SAHM. I loved teaching. By the time W was born, I was special ed coordinator for our building. I loved it. After an exepected policy change in personal leave, I decided to quit....I was only six weeks post-partum, so very emotional! It took a bit getting used to.

As with any life changing decisions, I am sure you are just flooded with emotions.
Share away....

Sandy C. said...

Aww, I'm sorry you're a bit sad. It's understandable as your cutting ties with a big part of your life. But just remember you're now taking on a new role that will give you and your family life-long memories :)

*hugs*

Amy said...

Congrats to you. I have been home for 5.5 years now - I don't regret it.

Don Mills Diva said...

Congratulations on the next stage of your life!

Pam said...

I'm jealous! Uhm, I mean, I am happy for you. I don't think you will regret it! Enjoy being mommy!

Sass E-mum said...

Gosh. That's exciting. I'm holding my breath ... not sure why, but this feels momentous.

Well done and GOOD LUCK!

Cecily R said...

I totally get the emotion. I also get that you are doing just exactly what you should be doing right now. When you are ready to go back you'll be better for it, and your little one is worth it!! :)

30 Minute Mommy said...

Oh...Thanks for sharing your feelings. I totally know how you are feeling. I sat in my principal's office today and talked about resigning and Cobra plans and I started crying. It is NOT an easy decision. Congrats on making a tough decision.

The Immoral Matriarch said...

Congratulations??
:)

Angela said...

Congrats Mama! You will love it, it just takes some getting used to. (I had my major transition 2 years ago...HUGS)

jakelliesmom said...

I remember that day well, the day my leave turned into my professional hiatus of five 1/2 years. I remember the nerves, the guilt, and also the relief of not having to try to figure out how or if I'd be working, and balancing my needs with the needs of my baby.

Take a deep breath, and do your best to savor the moments you have together.

Lori said...

Sweetheart...the great thing about our career is that it will be waiting for you when you are ready to come back! :-) You will not get this time back with your son and you are blessed to have this option - ENJOY every minute!! You'll come back to teaching when you know the time is right for your family. congrats!

Tracey said...

Just remember: this is not a lifetime decision. You WILL teach again, just not for a while. The great thing about teaching is its lifespan and renewability. When you're ready to rejoin the workforce, a job will be ready for you.

Enjoy this new phase of your life! Sleep in a bit! Don't take a shower! Relish in the endless days of no routines cuz when little man starts school, it's allll over!

Lindsey said...

Yeah for you and for baby J!!! You will be so glad you did it. I am. I just moved all my stuff out of my classroom today and you know what I wanted to say, "Take this job and shove it..." HAHAHA!

I'm so proud for you. I know what you are feeling though. It was a tough decision, but I truly believe you'll be happy with this decision:) Truly!!!

Remember I worked with MM, while she was a baby and toddler....it was so hard, so very hard. And I'm so thankful that I don't have to go to work with either girl crying and wanting us to stay at home. There were many days I spent crying at school.

Yeah for my sweet bloggy friend!

Lindsey said...

I think it's great that you can do that!! Not everyone can, and I bet you will be so thankful for the opportunity! I can't imagine not teaching, but if I could have the opportunity, I would do it in a minute to raise babies!! You will be fine!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Good for you! Good luck!

WordVixen said...

Aw *hugs*. I don't know why we react that way, but I did the same thing when I was laid off from a job that I was planning to quit. I wasn't even sad. But couldn't stop bawling.

Congratulations on being a SAHM. I'm sure that sweet baby face will make everything better quickly. :)

Karen MEG said...

It's a HUGE step, no wonder you're in tears. But this is obviously the BEST decision for you and your precious family. Everything will be just great. Give yourself time to let the decision sink in.

You won't regret it; being a SAHM has been the best thing that I've ever done. I never considered myself very maternal or SAHM material but I've proven myself wrong. It is, as others have noted, more than a full time job; but then one that is more fulfilling than you could ever hope for.

Don't look back. The career outside of the home will come again ... if you want it. Think of this as a new beginning of endless possibilities.

Congrats on this huge decision. You won't regret it.

Caroline's Mom said...

Congrats! That is great! I would love to do this! I feel so guilty having to leave Caroline everyday and having someone else take care of her. I hate that.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I am so excited for you! I can imagine that you are going to mourn a bit, so much of how we view ourselves comes from our careers. Especially as a teacher, it is a calling!
I am glad that you feel you are following the right path though, it will make the transition easier.

Our Crooked Tree said...

Yippee for you! After 3 months of being a SAHM (kind of WAHM) I know it is the best thing I ever did. I still have a flood of emotions about the subject. You will be great!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

RASTA LETTUCE = JASON CASTRO


BRILLIANT!!!

Hallie :)

Kupiec Baby Blog said...

The more you are home with that precious little boy, the happier you will be. And, at worse case you can always go back!

kellyo75 said...

Oh wow. Huge step. Bittersweet, huh? You will do great! Congratulations.

Nap Warden said...

Good for you. I know leaving the working world is a hard decision...I did it as well. You will be very happy to be home:)

girlymom said...

Just think of all the wonderful things you will be able to share with your son, all the moments you would have missed, they grow up so fast and before you blink he will be in school. You have a great education and nothing is going to change that, you can go back someday. I hope that feeling in your gut eases soon and you are at ease with your decision. My oldest is in Kindergarten and I don't know where her toddler years went, but I can honestly say that I am grateful to have been with her through it all.
Welcome to SAHM life!

Pregnantly Plump said...

It's such a big step. I completely understand the tears. I knew before we had Little Elvis that I wasn't going to go back, but I kept it a secret to make sure I got my maternity pay. Then, once it was all said and done, I didn't want to talk about it. It took me months to officially call myself an SAHM and I never really wrote about it. And I didn't even like my job. It sounds like you did like yours, so I can imagine it's got to be so much more difficult.

Huckdoll said...

I think it's wonderful. I returned to work after over a year of maternity leave, only to quit after four months to become a full time SAHM.

I went through the exact same emotions you are. Hang in there, babe. It gets so much better :)

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

(You have a little something on my blog!)

Kellan said...

Oh, it is hard to quit a job - it is hard. It is so apart of our idenity and it is hard to severe that bond. It will get easier - it will - take it slowly - it will be wonderful!!!!!

Take care - Kellan

Kellan said...

I'm glad for you to be able to stay home with your kids!

MamaGeek said...

That's always a tough decision. Then again, great risk has great rewards. It took me a good long time to adjust (actually I'm STILL adjusting) but love it.

Nissa said...

Yay! Congrats & welcome to the club.

I think you're probably mourning the freedom of the job. You will love staying at home being mommy full time, but you'll miss the ability to go to work & get away sometimes!

I think everyone goes through that!

Hugs!

Kareer Woman said...

What a difficult decision. Relief and freedom are always really good things. It will be a process, but you'll get through it!

Sue said...

Good for you and for baby J. Try to go away somewhere for the first week of school. It will make you very happy and distracted!

Karen said...

It's such a big step, it's right to be emotional. But I've always said that I'd rather regret not working when the kids were little than regret not being there for them. You can always change your mind later, but you can't reclaim days lost with your little one.

CC said...

You are one brave mama!

Kathryn said...

Wow! You did it! Good for you!

I know it is scary. Any major change in life is scary but we need to remember that nothing is forever. If after a while you don't like staying home you can go back to work. You are brave for giving it a try. I'm sure you will adjust perfectly!
Well done!

Rachel H. said...

Somewhere I am sure this comment will be lost amongst your other 53 comments, but WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF SAH motherhood! I am glad you finally made that decision...and I don't think you will regret it one bit. ENJOY your baby...and all the moments you get to be there for!

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I love being a sahm, I think I would cry if I ever had to go back to work! lol. I think you'll really enjoy it once you figure out your "routine."

Heather said...

Every decision comes with doubt. Every decision is changeable. Just live with it for a while and see what happens. Say some prayers and I will too.

huddtoo said...

Think though.. it's not like you can't go back, when YOU are ready to go back. Great that you are able to spend time with J and raise him. I'm sure it was tough, there are always pros and cons to things.

And think...you'll have more time to blog. (grin)

:)

Amy said...

Welcome to the ranks!
I know it must be so hard to let that part of you go, but believe me it will get better. And now I'm dreading having to ever go back to work ;-)

SWC said...

Good for you! I think it's always hard when you're facing the unknown and if you've been a part of the work force for a long time I would think it is normal to feel really, really weird right now. I hope it is everything you thought it would be and then some. Congrats on the new adventure. And, yes, let me know when you are traveling through Michigan and we'll plan a play date!

Kristen said...

I too remember sitting in my principal's office. Thinking I was about to change me life forever.

But, you know what, it was worth that meeting. Deciding to stay home to be the one with the kids has been worth every minute. I hope that you will find peace as well.

Plus, that's what is great about teaching, you can always go back later. Schools are always going to need teachers. :-)

Cheri said...

Relief. That's what I thought first. Keep us posted.

Colleen said...

Good for you!!! I can't imagine how hard that decision was. I'm guessing you'll be missing your friends and just the overall enjoyment you get from teaching (and uh, not the administrative junk that goes along with it).
As I've admitted before...I'm jealous...I would love my only job to be taking care of my boys and home instead of fighting traffic and dealing with a large conglomerate each day, missing watching my boys grow up.

Ranch Mommy said...

I felt this way too when I started part time a few months ago. It seems we works so hard to have a "career" when what we truely want is to be with our babies. It is a hard transition of finding out "who" you are, because you are not just a Mommy, you are an educated incredible woman who has CHOSEN to be home with her son. Congratulations and great choice!!

Recent Posts

There was an error in this gadget

Photo of the Week

Photo of the Week
Two Peas

  © Blogger templates The Professional Template by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP