Just a Mom?

What a beautiful day today. Gorgeous. J and I spent the better part of the afternoon in the park. While we made our laps around the pond, I decided to take a chance and call one of my best friends (we'll call her Ms. May . . . it is MAY after all). We try to talk as often as possible, but with her two little ones and my one, it is a challenge. You see, if we could talk for a quick five minutes, we would. BUT, that is impossible. Oddly enough, neither of us is one for talking on the phone that much. But, put the two of us together and it is near impossible to tear us apart . . .

In between the street sweeper, wind gusts, and motorcycles, Ms. May and I had one of our typical thought-provoking and riveting conversations (seriously, we could talk about the variety of generic cereals or the fact that NKOTB is making a comeback and it would be thought provoking--to us anyway). One of our topics was this whole idea of mommyhood. Oh, I hear your groans. Dear Lord, it is a mommy blog and she actually wants to dedicate a post to this?!?! Yes, yes I do. For good reason.

I'm still sorta new to this whole mom thing.

We talked about the perfect mother. You know who she is. Her children are the center of her universe. Her world revolves around them and everything they do. Everything she does focuses on being a mom. She's the one who leads mom clubs, organizes school activities, schedules the best play dates, plans the most awesome parties, makes the most healthful and creative snacks/treats, bakes and cooks from SCRATCH, wears "cool" mom clothes, her hair is always perfectly coiffed, and she is always, always full of energy! She is EXHAUSTING. Besides, we all know that NOTHING is as perfect as it seems. I have no doubt that she struggles as well.

I never had actual aspirations to be the PERFECT mother. That simply was not going to happen--and I'm OK with that. I just wanted to be a good mom. BUT, alas, the pressure to be the perfect mom, the cool mom, the mom who has it all together is ever present, even when we don't want to admit it. Heck, have you ever paged through some of those baby or parenting magazines? Sometimes it looks like the models in Vogue got pregnant and jumped onto the pages of American Baby or Parents. Yikes!


There's got to be a balance, right? This was the heart of our conversation . . . so many women define themselves as a mom. I know that I do, to some degree. But many define themselves as only a mom. Just a mom. That being said, it is easy to understand the pressure to do it PERFECTLY when that is ALL you believe you are. At least in your eyes.

Ms. May and I discussed how vital it is for a mom to have something along with her identity as mommy. Something that shows her creativity, her intelligence, her confidence, her tenacity in a different light. (A quick conversation flashback. When we first got on the phone we talked about our passions. What drives us. What motivates us. It was kinda fun to think about what we want to be when we grow up--even if we are in our 30s.) We both agreed that when the day comes we would love for our children to not only feel that we were the best (not necessarily perfect) moms we could be, but that we were also the best people we could be.

I want J to appreciate his momma's love for literature and the power of words. I want him to see that I took pride in my health (hopefully he'll forget seeing me dip a spoon into the Betty Crocker butter cream frosting and will only remember me jogging in the park--but if not, no biggie.). I want him to appreciate my sense of humor (even though he'll be sure to remember my corny knock knock jokes he'll never forget my awesome ability to mimic farm animals). I want him to know the little girl and young woman I was before he arrived. I want him to be proud of me for following my dreams and accomplishing my goals.

So, I don't know if I'll be leading any mom's groups. And, I tell ya, Goldfish crackers and Fruit Roll Ups are perfectly fine snacks. I will try to get it together more often than not, but some days, I WILL spend the better part of my day in my PJs (like on rainy ones where snuggling is much more preferred than going anywhere!). We may not have huge parties with clowns, celebrities, and fireworks (we'll opt for pizza and s'mores and scary stories in the tent out back), I won't be the perfect mom. Perfection is overrated anyway. But I hope I'll be the "perfect" mom for J.

I want him to know he is the center of my universe. A universe where you can be anything you want to be. And that means mommy, too.

A few moments from today . . .


Right now, our little universe is a pretty cool place to be . . .