Friday, January 23, 2009

PSF: Just live. Just play. Just be happy.

They were way too big. My mom's heels. But she slipped on an extra pair of socks and jammed her chubby toes into the wedge heels anyway. She shuffled across the linoleum, relishing in the clackity-clack sound. She sounded like a grown up. The sticky cheeks betrayed her. My little sister was barely out of toddler-hood when she realized the distinct advantages of adulthood. Height.

I'm certain my dad suffered from a rather intense form of OCD. He could walk into any room and spot a tiny piece of lint, a crumb or a hair. With laser-like focus, he would home in on the offending piece of debris and dispose of it. We were all amazed. My brother most of all. When my dad pulled out the vacuum, my brother would follow close behind with the popcorn push toy. He wanted to be a big man, like his daddy. Push. Pop. Push.

I remember my mom grabbing at the backpack I had slung over my shoulder. "What do you need this for?" she demanded. I was going skating, as in roller skating. My big-banged, electric blue-mascaraed, off-the-shoulder sweater secured at her waist with a pleather belt with a buckle as-big as-your-face wearin' friend was going with me. "It's just stuff, mom," I replied with the I'm-too-cool-for-this requisite teenage eye-roll. In a matter of mere seconds she pulled from the bag a mini-skirt (not mine), an off-the-shoulder-t-shirt (oddly, my mom's) and a mix-matched collection of Bonnie Bell. Busted. I was desperate to add a decade to my 14 years. I wanted someone to peel me away from the wall during the couples skate when some sappy Richard Marx song was sure to be playing. Now I didn't have a chance.

High heels. A "vacuum." Cheap make-up and a top made "for a hussy" (my mom's words). Desperate attempts to grab a piece of adulthood.

I never though I'd see the signs of such a pursuit in my plucky little 17-month-old . . . let's just take a look at the last few days, shall we?

He wants to be able to hang out in empty rooms by himself, just like a big boy. Closing the door is a sure sign of "I need my privacy." In only a few seconds, this poked out. Clearly, he misses me.

He's had enough of Velcro sneakers covered in Sesame Street characters. Or, he's just trying to show off his shoe-tying skills. With his mouth. Impressive.

Daddy left his CAFFEINATED DIET pop/cola/soda on the floor. J decided to help himself. I have no idea how much he sucked down . . . I just know it was a longer night than usual.

J decided that mama blowing his nose just, well, blew. So, he decided to practice. With an entire box of tissue. I knew he was being entirely too quiet (I mean, how much noise does tissue make?!?!).


J is all about making his own nutritional choices. There are at least a dozen or more on the floor (mixed with the crusty cheese bits, veggie "chicken" patty crumbs and who the heck knows what).


J is rather distressed over not being able to beat daddy's high score in electronic Yahtzee. And he wants the world to know . . .

Little man, this is your mommy. Stop it. Stop it right now. I know you want to grow up. I get it. I was once there myself. But for now, don't worry about bills, winning or losing, fat/calories, zits, impressing anyone, getting a job, doing homework, cleaning your room, finding a college, settling on a career, minding your manners (for now, even shoving your finger in your nose is still kinda cute. For now.), finding "the one," losing "the one," nose and back hair, bald spots . . . just don't worry. Not now. You have your entire life for all that nonsense.

Until then . . . take advantage of having someone else bathe, feed and dress you (you might not experience this again for about 80 years or so, and it won't be as fun). Let daddy hoist you on his shoulders and spin you around while he sings the greatest hits from the Bee Gees. Play hide 'n seek and giggle until your chubby belly hurts (or until your breakfast spills out onto the carpet). Let your mommy grab you and hug and kiss you until you can barely take it. Let us tuck you in at night, read you stories and tell you about all the amazing things you can do, will do, if you want. Let us carry the burden of worry, of fear. We will come in, rub your back, feel your soft breaths and bend down to whisper our love for you.

For now, little man . . .

Just live. Just play. Just be happy.

* * *

PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

35 comments:

Sass E-mum said...

We chase them to meet developmental milestones and bewail their achievements in climbing, exploring and trying new things.

Add to that their desire to grow... do it themselves... what seeds of conflict!

Don't we love it.

Flea said...

It's painful, isn't it? They need to grow and learn and individuate. it hurts to let them, to teach them. I still tell my kids - they're 11 through 15 - to STOP GROWING UP ALREADY. They don't listen at any age. Stink.

Killlashandra said...

Cute pictures. It's always amazing how fast toddlers get into everything. :)

Threeboys1mommy said...

Nuh uh Lasik gal! My kids can't find jobs soon enough, I'm so sick of these $200 Costco trips, it's time they contribute ;-)

Rachel said...

AWWWW. So adorable! So, so adorable.

*sniff, sniff*

Karen said...

I love it. All the fun things he's learning and doing. Sure, it's hard on the mama, but how else will he grow?

flutter said...

that is just the cutest

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Wise words from a loving mother.

Huckdoll said...

That post made me laugh, awwwww and cry. Beautiful!

Lori said...

Good advice for all of us - just live, just play, just be happy!

Indy said...

Well said.

SECRET AGENT MAMA said...

I so know this! Living it, breathing it, as I type!

<3

Woman in a Window said...

Love the all nostagic soft moments mixed with the tone of what he's up to now.

Durned kids, growing and all.

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

That was beautifully written!
Really, are you published???

Steph said...

Great post loved the photos

Elaine A. said...

I love that pic of him suckin' down the soda, that is too good!

Do you think he listened to you? ; )

Erin said...

N has discoverd tissues too. Although he puts them to his nose, makes a noise and puts them back into the box! That, he did not learn from me!! :)
As always, great post and pics!

tommie said...

It is so hard to see them growing up....just wait until they are at your bewbies height and they are only 5!! I can't believe how big my older one is....granted I am fairly short....but still!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I just had to come over and apologize for ruining your Crunch Berries cuz the berries are the best part!!

Hallie

Pregnantly Plump said...

So sweet and I completely understand where you're coming from. Little Elvis has taken a liking to Beyonce. I guess Minnie and Daisy just aren't as cute.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Oh, poor mom. J's showing you he's hitting the get outta my way and jump on for the ride phase. Poor Laski.

MoziEsmé said...

So beautifully said! As much as I love those independent streaks in Esme (she does the high-heel wearing thing, plus feeding herself, plus a bunch of that other stuff, too) - I still want her to enjoy being a kid - for her own sake. I've always been so eager to move on to the next step, and I'm only now learning to enjoy the moment. So many years wasted...

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Great story! I remember those clothes! and the big hair! I used to sneek makeup to school and then take it off just before getting on the bus! :)

CC said...

Amen sister! Just play!!!!!!!!

Momisodes said...

You had me cracking up about the blue mascara and the off the shoulder shirt (like Madonna!) :) I remember those days!

I certainly know what you mean. I have a 3 year old demanding her independence already *sigh*

Nap Warden said...

My Little Man just keeps growing...stay little Little Man!

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

It really does go by so quickly... He is so blinkin' cute!

amanda said...

can i just say amen??

live. play and be happy :)

totally sums it up!

Kellan said...

Great post! He is living and playing and he looks pretty darn happy - that one!! And, YES - blue mascara - HA~!

Take care - Kellan

Trannyhead said...

I love it! Gosh he looks so much YOUNGER than my kid. Somebody left a comment on my blog that my kid looks like a 1st Grader and she's totally right. He does. It's tragic - I miss the baby-ness!

just jamie said...

It continues to amaze me how I feel like I know your sweet little boy. From rolling over, to sitting up, crawling, walking, and all the clever little milestones in between. What a gift.

painted maypole said...

i had electric blue AND teal green mascara, thank you very much.

that kid is adorable. but keep him out of the mascara. ;)

Hyphen Mama said...

You say it so well.

My 5 year-old daughter talks CONSTANTLY about when she grows up, or is bigger, or when she's 16. I beg her to just enjoy being little. So much time to grow up, don't force it yet.

Our babies just grow up too darned fast.

I'm SO loving the picture of J sucking down the soda.

crazymumma said...

bonnie bell was a right of passage into older girlhood.

I am loving these sojourns into the young teen years you are taking us on.

Lindsey said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

Those pictures of J....they are the cutest. I love that little face holding the game. I just want to squeeze him!

Seriously, it was like you took pics of "A Day in My Life" b/c HJ, she loves to do all those things. Sneaking sips from McDonald's cups is her absolute fave. What is happening to our babies??? They are growing too quickly. Time for another one??? Maybe.

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