Wednesday, November 12, 2008

No Ma'am!

Tousling my hair. Puckering my lips. Admiring my make up. Checking out how great my round little bottom looked in my Guess jeans.

Yeah, I had moments.

Guys would wink (they may have had something in their eyes, but go with me on this one, k?). Their hellos disguised suggestions of something more. Their eyes loosely hid lustful thoughts as their gaze traced the curves of my body.

I would smile, clearly pleased with myself (trust me, this was a rarity, but a rarity I embraced wholeheartedly).

How could I not?

A twenty-something hot chick.

Like I said. I had my moments.

And then there was yesterday.

A little mascara (I still remember how to wield a wand) and smidgen of lip gloss. A spritz or two through my very sensible mom do (I begged my stylist for a non-mom mom do . . . I guess that meant to give me a style that wavers between 80s talk show host and CSPAN economist). I slipped on my jeans (grateful for the extra elastic around the waste). Pulled on a body hugging long-sleeved top and sweater. Slipped on my comfy, yet very trendy, shoes. I packed J in the car and off we went. No former Guess-jeans hotty, but good enough.

We visited the hubs at a very hip and happening place.

The bowling alley.

As I followed my little adventurer through the maze of racks, chairs, tables and bowling bags, my eyes firmly fixed on his little legs, I nearly stumbled into a young boy.

"Sorry, ma'am," he said. I cringed as I laughed at our near collision. No worries. Though, that ma'am thing . . . whatever. He's barely a teen. His parents have taught him well.

J, my slightly bruised ego and I were off again.

My throat parched, I was in desperate need of some fluids. As I saw those golden arches, the one place with the perfect mix of Coke syrup and carbonation, I knew I had to stop.

As I pulled up to pay for my drink (YES, I said NO to "would you like anything else with that" I swear), the young man at window 1 replied, "Thank you, ma'am" as he handed me my change. Ugh. Really?

Young man at window 2 handed me my food and a "Have a good evening, ma'am." Seriously. Why can't they just leave off the last part? I mean, "thank you" and "have a good evening," is plenty. My mood deflating, I knew it was desperate that I go for some therapy.

So, J and I headed to Kohl's where I proceeded to scour the clearance racks. I headed to the checkout with my finds.

I saw a man at the first check-out. There was only one person in his line.

I saw an older woman at the next check-out. There were about four in her line.

What a dilemma.

I checked with my ego.

It whimpered.

I headed to the line being manned by one of my own kind. I wasn't taking any chances.

She greeted J with a barrage of compliments as we moved up to the counter.

I grinned. I sighed. Much, much better.

I looked into her knowing eyes.

She gets it, I thought to myself.

I swiped my debit card, signed my name and grabbed my bag . . .

She bid farewell to J and to me she said in her sweet sing-song voice, "Have a good night, ma'am."

Kill. Me. Now.

*I clearly know I live in denial of the fact that I am a ma'am. But I like denial. It is warm, pretty and they serve really, really good food and free Bellinis. Oh, and all the mirrors make me look like a supermodel. And that's pretty cool . . .

36 comments:

Mr Lady said...

Yup. Hurts, don't it? :)

Deezee said...

cuts like a knife, doesn't it?

courtesy needs a makeover!

Karen MEG said...

OMG, I almost remember to the day when people started calling me ma'am. Can I warn you, you never get used to it, even when you're an old geezer in your 40s :).

Now there's a smart boy at our grocery store who asked me if I needed help finding something about a month ago ... "Can I help you find something MISS?".

I almost kissed him!

Hey it's Amy Shipp said...

I totally hate that too! They may as well say "have a nice day, grandma" as far as I'm concerned...

Pregnantly Plump said...

Maybe polite customer service is making a comeback? That's probably what it is. They were just being polite.

LaskiGal said...

I just have to say that I'm totally used to the whole "ma'am" thing, but getting four withing a two hour period was a bit much.

And kudos to good manners. But seriously, how 'bout a nice "miss" once in awhile. I'd totally forgive the faux pas (being the more mature woman that I am).

A perfectly placed miss, especially where tipping is involved, could mean a potential windfall. Just sayin . . .

Kat said...

Hahaha!!! You are too funny.

I've never had a problem with ma'am. I've always used it even on very young girls. "Yes, ma'am!" It just seems much more respectful than "miss" does even if the person is younger than I.

Shake if off, ya hottie! :)

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Your ego whimpered. You are a clever one with words!

Kami said...

I feel your pain....I am still 16, how the hell can I be a ma'am?

it's a four letter word and should be banned from the English language.

Tracey said...

Sigh... This will make you feel better by reliving a painful moment of my own. But, because I love you, I'll suffer the pain:

At the speech meet last weekend, I sat by another judge from the school I judge through. He was a teacher from that school, which is quite large, and asked where I worked in the building. "Nope. I'm a SAHM who's been judging for, oh, about a decade now!" I laughed.

"Oh." he said. "Do your kids still attend ABC high school?"

blink.

blink.

"Exactly HOW OLD do you think I AM?!?" I shrieked.

Please. I am THIRTY TWO. I do not look 42 or 52. When I am that age, you may say I look that age, but until then? Keep your guesses UNDER the age you think the woman is, big old dumb dumb man...

Stacie said...

I think Ma'am is over used and it doesn't carry the same meaning as what it use to. REALLY. I am serious. Ok well, this is what I tell myself when I am ma'amed.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Didn't you get the Mrs as Miss when you were teaching? That hurt me having to become a Mrs, although ma'am does suck.

And, you totally had me at bellini. I was licking the lappy screen.

Rachel said...

I love ma'am as long as it's not referring to me ;-)

Very well written darling.

CC said...

N'uh uh. No way. We are not Ma'ams!!!

Payton said...

I agree with Stacie - I'm 19 and get called ma'am all the time by older women!

Just imagine, though, if you had lived your entire life thinking "ma'am" was a derivative of "mammy" -- http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20070714

Zoeyjane said...

When I used to work in customer service and retail, I reserved ma'am specifically for the bitchy people. Cuz I knew how much it stung. I don't want this word in my life!

ConverseMomma said...

Come move to New York, we have no manners here. Bet you won't hear it nearly as often, or ever.

Lori said...

Haaa!! I am so glad to hear someone else struggles with that one! I want to scream - I am NOT a ma'am! I am YOUNG!

Elaine A. said...

I hear it all the time too. I know it's polite but..... damn.

JediMama said...

*snicker* Next time I see you I'm going to have my six-yo oh-so-gently take you by the elbow and offer to help you cross the street. In his cub scout uniform, of course.

Love you!

MommyTime said...

I feel your pain. When I was 18 or 19, I got ma'amed on the phone when taking a message for my little sister from her boyfriend. I was FURIOUS. I wasn't OLD. Most recently, though, I got more than a little sad when a few of my friends got carded at a bar and I didn't. :(

Threeboys1mommy said...

Hello ma'am, I'm here for the free Bellinis ;)

LiteralDan said...

Does it make you feel any better that I call my 21-month-old daughter "ma'am" on a daily basis?

x said...

Nothing sucks more than being called Ma'am!

Recently though, after my hubby surprised me with a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings from www.idonowidont.com for my birthday, I think I looked a lot younger!

To match the earrings I wore a really chic dress and went out with my girlfriends and I did not get one 'ma'am' the whole night, guys thought I was 30 instead of 40!

womaninawindow said...

Perfectly woven.

I've crossed the line, perhaps because I'm a few years older, and now assume I'm an old bitty. However, I was very pleased last night when my daughter had balloons under a shirt and when they were up high she said, "These are mommy's." When she pushed them down around her waist she said, "And these are gramma's." The old girl's not done yet, I think.

Kimmylyn said...

I hate it to the point of wanting to stop my feet and swear that I am not collecting social security yet.. lol

RJTrue said...

Well, down here in the good 'ol south, they always say it - even to me with my baby face. I have complained about how I look way too young but I'm getting carded less and less. When I head back north and someone calls me ma'am - I'm going in for botox. At 27.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I've been a ma'am for so long I'd probably be shocked if someone didn't say it.

It does hurt the first few times though.

crazymumma said...

ouch. I have known that ma'am word for years.

Kori said...

I am SO there; it is depressing. Like the silver strands in my hair and the crows feet around the eyes. Only for some reason THOSE don't really bother me but ma'am? I might as well check myself into the nursing home now.

MoziEsmé said...

WHY do people think "ma'am" is a nice, respectful, polite word?? Stick with dude or babe or chick or whatever works these days!

Karen said...

I like denial, too. But strangely I don't get many ma'ams around here. I'm grateful.

Maggie, Dammit said...

Yes, yes, and yes. I can't remember when it started but I wish it would stop.

painted maypole said...

in the south I've learned that if you're over about 21 you're a ma'am.

April said...

I hate ma'am. With a passion. I think that all those people trying to teach manners should learn that "miss" sounds ageless.

Colleen said...

I don't mind ma'am too much. It's the Mrs. *my last name* that gets me.

Recent Posts

There was an error in this gadget

Photo of the Week

Photo of the Week
Two Peas

  © Blogger templates The Professional Template by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP