TV Sucks . . .

the life right out of you. I know this is true. I know I shouldn't "watch" so much of it, yet I do. I usually have it on for noise in the background. It is as if Regis is in my kitchen and the girls from the View (I can't stand that program, yet I watch it for the disaster that will inevitably take place) are at the kitchen table annoying one another, and Dr. Phil is giving advice in my office, while Oprah, oh Oprah, is conducting a book chat in my living room. Is my life sad? The really sad thing is that I can't really tell you what is on because I don't really watch it. I listen, I might glance over while playing a game with J, or I might catch a news segment while nursing. I just like the noise . . . the company. Oh boy, this is sad.

I watch little J stare over at the TV as we play on his gym. I turn him around but he finds his way back to the set. I try to make myself feel better by telling myself he is just into the lights, but somewhere deep within the recesses of my brain I worry that he'll be a game-playing, soap-watching, sugar-eating couch potato by the time he's five all because of me.

I sometimes find that I time my life according to what's on. I have to be sure to have my decaf coffee (I know, what's the point?) while watching the early morning news. Breakfast must be eaten with Regis or during the Today Shows 18th hour (enough already!), while lunch happens during House Hunters (I'm strangely addicted to that show). There is some dead time before Ellen comes on and then dead time again until the evening.

Today was one of the few days that the TV stays off. We listened to music, danced, played, surfed online (he fell asleep in my arms--it was nap time), sang . . . It was nice, but strangely lonely, too. It is a habit I am eager to break. But, at the same time, I dread it. How will I know what toys have been recalled? Who is dating whom? What secret ingredient will make me look 10 years younger? What food will help me shed those last five pounds (let's be honest, it's 10)? What fashions are hot for winter? What are the must have items for Christmas? I guess I'll just have to read about it . . .