Friday, November 21, 2008

PSF: Distractions

I haven't been around. This I know . . . a week since my last post. Has it already been that long? Yes. The date tells me this is true.

So, where have I been?

Not lounging. Not eating the proverbial bon bons (who does that, anyway?). Not even indulging in lackluster sitcoms with forced funnies. Nope.

Yes. I've been answering to my wee tow-headed dictator. Apparently, the more mobile a toddler becomes, the more bone-weary you become.

He's climbing. Jumping. Running. Putting things where they do not belong (only to have me searching feverishly for whatever is his new obsession: my keys, the telephone, my cellphone --which I found in the vent when I called it and heard the distinctive ring . . . the vent. Not the toilet. Score one for mom!).

Stuff found in vents year-to-date: socks, banana peel (what?), multitude of toys, a vent cover (from another vent), crackers, a Cheeto (OMG, how did that get there?!? I only feed my child healthy and nutritious foods made from the highest quality ingredients! You believe me, right?)

I thought all this activity would be good for something. Say, for earning a decent age score on the Wii we just purchased (because going on an actual date in the foreseeable future is . . .well, unforeseeable and we need some after 8 pm entertainment). I'm 83.

83.


At least I have something to shoot for . . . like, 80.

Quite honestly, my mii having no arms or legs is disturbing.

It so happens that being 83 coincides with me wearing my elastic only-pair-that-will-fit-and-not-show-off-my-plumpy-parts-mom-jeans for three days in a row.(This in turn coincides with my increased consumption of chocolate biscotti, chocolate milk, and really tiny chocolate cheesecakes--I'm in training for the holidays.). The jeans are in the washer, don't worry. But, don't ask what I'm wearing now . . . this is a family-friendly blog.

Mom's ever-expanding waistline: 1 point
Mom's self-esteem: 0 points
Mom's solution: cut chocolate in smaller pieces

Yesterday my bumper had a little run in with an old Chevy being driven by a kid who was very busy dipping his fries in his ketchup. Yup. Dipping fries in ketchup.

Survivors: Two teenagers, a mom (wearing trusty mom-jeans) and blissfully unaware baby boy.
Casualties: old Chevy (totaled), my bumper, a few fries and two chicken sandwiches (RIP).
Him: No insurance.
Me: $1000 deductible

What this means for Christmas: Homemade Sock Puppets!

Alright. Enough distractions . . . I'm sure I have a mess that awaits clean up somewhere in this house. Chances are, it'll be something like this . . .


Mommy loves when J rearranges the office. He's so helpful . . . I'd better check the vents.

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PhotoStory Friday
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46 comments:

Rachel Holloway said...

Am I really the first?!?! NEVER Happens!

I am so sorry about your car! CURSE the uninsured!

If it makes you feel any better, with the cost of moving, replacing the A/C in our car and putting on a new set of tired we will be giving those same sock puppets For Christmas. :)

Rachel said...

But he's having fun!! Monkey likes to hide stuff in vents, too.

I am soo sorry about your car. UGH! The uninsured suck!!!!

Bummer. Nice to see you though.

Unknown said...

So life goes....are you really 80?? I thought it was bad that I was 43, but 80? I suddenly feel lots better. :) thanks!! I love bald nugget headed babies/toddlers, it's a good thing that they are so gosh darn cute...it makes up for all the crap they put in the vents right?

Unknown said...

omgoodness...glad you and your car are ok.

Pam said...

So sorry about your car! The thing you found in your vent- that makes me feel so much better. I'm so glad that my kids are not the only ones out there shoving food in crazy places.

Anonymous said...

L, you crack me up. The chocolate? Yeah, you might need to see someone for that.

83? Really? Um. Don't you run every single day? I'm thinking 83 is just because you have zero coordination. Hope I'm not outing you! :)

I can't believe you got into an accident? That is crazy. I would have flipped out.

Give J a kiss for me, okay!?!

CC said...

I have the perfect Christmas solution to your $1000 deductible. It should be up on my blog in about an hour. check back then. You can surprise everyone with the fabulous gift(s)

Payton said...

My MIL has poster that says "A mother works from son up to son down".
Thought that might be applicable =)

Kat said...

Oh yes. I know that mess well. Mine always gang up on me. When I'm helping one child the other always makes a mess or breaks something.

So sorry about the fender bender and the big bucks. Tis the season to go broke, I always say.
Bah-humbug! ;)

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

I am so non-existant on actually commenting these days... Just feeling blah about it.

Still love you, though!

Killlashandra said...

What a week! Toddles keep you on your toes there's no 2 ways about that one. ;) Just think of all the fun he's having and hopefully you'll smile too.

As for the accident, that's terrible. Teens must have insurance! I won't let mine drive without it.

Jaysi said...

I think I have a couple of those too! Oh no...not the vents!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

No insurance? They take you to jail for that in California.

Luckily your son will love the sock puppets at his age!

Mozi Esme said...

What a cute little distraction! Much cuter than french fries in ketchup...

Sock puppets are cool. And chocolate makes everything better. Just have J put the scale in the vent, too.

Unknown said...

I love your solution of cutting the chocolate in smaller pieces. HA HA HA!

Sorry about your car and the "unisured motorist." Punk. Glad you are still in good spirits and keep up on the good work in your training for the holidays! ; )

Aracely said...

I thought I was the last person in america that didn't have a Wii, GOOGGAWD, I wanted one so bad... but now that I know it can guess my age... maybe not so much.

Karen said...

So do the smaller pieces of chocolate really work? Because I totally need to do something about my elastic waist sweat pants.

I'm so glad nobody was hurt in the accident, and hope something can be done about that deductible. I volunteer two teenage dippers to babysitting and housecleaning services for a year.

Hockeyman said...

That is an awesome picture!

Indy said...

I medicate with chocolate too.

Indy said...

I medicate with chocolate too.

tommie said...

oh girlie, I so feel your pain. I am so glad I am not the only one who calls her phone to locate it!

Happy weekend!

Karen MEG said...

What a cute photo!

sorry about your car, what a royal pain!!!

And cut yourself some slack on your blogging... you are the mom of a busy toddler, BTW :).

don't worry, you won't always need those mom jeans either LOL!

Pregnantly Plump said...

That sucks about your car! I'm definitely into eating fries while driving, but dipping into ketchup? Must admit I've never tried that.
As for the redecorating, I can tell you that it just seems to get worse. Little Elvis used to have a thing for my makeup. I still can't find one brand new bottle of base, but I've found eye shadows and what not in one of my boots. I think it must be Little Elvis' vent...

A Crafty Mom said...

Uh oh - no insurance - NOT COOL! I'm so sorry - and the mobile kid thing is exhausting. My office always looks like that - wait - every room in my house looks like that lately and my little one is only 10 months old.

Chocolate=yummy!!!

Chris said...

We do the Wii dates too. I generally come in about the right age, but I don't have toddlers anymore. You got the mobile toddler versus bone weariness equation about right.

Flea said...

Oy! You're having SO much more fun than I am! I'll be blowing the middles out of eggs and decorating them as Christmas ornaments for gifts. Always appreciated. :)

Kristen said...

My what a week you have had. Goodness!! If it makes you feel at all better, I really do feel that you get to rest more once they turn two. But man, there is something about a 1 year old, that means you are not going to sit for the WHOLE year. :)

But I guess, who am I to say. I just told Chet tonight that I swear Cade and Anya are little tornados. Everywhere they go, a MESS is left behind!

Hoping next week is much better. And I am with you, who says it is a terrible thing to start training for the holiday season!

KG said...

ARGH on the no insurance. That really sucks. Those bastards drive the cost of insurance up for the rest of us, damnit.

Dirty bastards. Glad nobody was hurt.

Unknown said...

He or his folks ought to cover the 1000 bucks your deductible is gonna nail you for.

Lori said...

Love the picture, but sorry about the bumper incident!

LiteralDan said...

These days, my Wii Fit age would probably be about 95.

Anonymous said...

That rips about the accident. Darn teenagers...
I? have the same pics. Except mine have DVDs all over, toys, books....
The joys!!

Anonymous said...

I'm certain my Wii Fit age is over 100. And, what did the ins say? B/C you can totally sue the kid.

J will slow down at about 20 months. Until then? Be on guard.

just jamie said...

Your tow-headed little dictator can come mess up my shelves any day. :)

flutter said...

the back of his little head just makes me smile

Beth said...

In our state we are required to have car insurance.

I happen to know EXACTLY where a certain remote is to a TV... it is inside of a WALL where a topdler dropped it during a remodeling project.... it has been there for 14 about years now! We have since replaced the television. lol

April said...

For me, I found 18 months to 3 years to be the most exhausting physically. I bet your age will go down as your son continues to grow.

Aunt Julie said...

My youngest started ordering us around when she was about this age, and she's still going strong! Some kids just have that dictatorial gene, if ya know what I mean!

Woman in a Window said...

Bits and pieces that add together to be a whole lot of hilarious. Sorry 'bout the vehicle though. THAT hurts.

Kamis Khlopchyk said...

Oh man, did I forget to warn you about the dictator that emerges when they get mobile?

*taps forehead*

It's all good and should end sometime around age 20. I hope.

Too bad about the bumper but can't say I have too much sympathy for the fries and burgers.

And who drives around with no insurance and why doesn't he have to pay the deductible?

huddtoo said...

{Chuckle} that pic is funny!! :)

I hear ya on the being away...me too!!!

So sorry about your car!! No insurance??? Is that allowed in these days?? UGH!

Angela Nazworth said...

Your life and mine...very very similar

crazymumma said...

oh god. The chaos of that office makes me want to cry.

sorry. it is my ocd talking.

Unknown said...

I won't even tell you how infuriating it is when somebody with no insurance hits you. BIG GROWL!

I, too, have found it increasingly difficult to blog with the toddler boy on the loose. Girls? Easy as pie. The boy? OMG there went the coffee boycott.

The picture? Priceless!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

I know I shouldn't be laughing but I am. I almost cry when I do my Wii Fit test and it makes me fatter and calls me obese in that weird little taunting voice.

Sorry about the accident - dipping fries in ketchup is one of the more unusual reasons I've heard of for a bang-up!

Little J is absolutely precious - mess and all!

Wineplz said...

I have been wondering where you've been. Not that I've been around, but I've been keeping an eye out for folks. I'm glad that it's just because you've been busy with the wee one...and the wii. :)
Really sorry to hear about the fender-bender with ketchup dipper...those deductibles are a real pain...as are those uninsured drivers. *sigh* Glad everyone is safe though.

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